Making A Change

More on New Year resolutions.

Look around you; most likely everyone around you has some sort of New Year’s resolution to make. Everyone…. even the best of the best among us have something in their lives that they want to improve.

It’s like we all have this deep rooted notion that we’re always not as good as we’re meant to be; that we’re all somehow falling short of some golden standard that’s forever out of reach. We’re always screwing up; making the wrong moves, saying the wrong words, doing the wrong things. When we’re really honest with ourselves, we usually fall short of the standard we set for ourselves. Nobody’s perfect.

It’s some sort of in-built flaw in our humanly design…..

It’s either we’re a species of perfectionist of impossible standards, or we’re a bunch of losers with abhorrent achievement rates.

Whichever it is, I do believe that the feelings of inadequacy and imperfection are part and parcel of this world. We live in a broken and flawed world that needs fixing. We all acknowledge that one way or another on many different levels.

Personally, we make New Year resolutions, set personal goals, and embark on quest to improve ourselves. As members of society, we volunteer, donate to charities and stay productive. As a group, we form pressure groups, lobbyist, NGO, charity movements, labour laws law advocates. As a people, we try to do something about our earth and our environment; recycling movements, reducing green house effects, green technology. We actually know that there are a lot of things wrong in this world. And at all these levels of human existence, what we’re really trying to do is fix it.

The Times magazine once invited a bunch of eminent authors to write in an essay on what they thought was wrong with the world today. Here’s the famed English author G.K. Chesterton’s essay, IN FULL…

Dear Sirs,


I am.


Sincerely yours,
G. K. Chesterton

We think we’re trying to fix the world. But at the heart of it all, what we are all really trying to fix is ourselves.

WE are the problem. Everything kind of fixing that we do in life is actually an act of cleaning up the mess that we made in the first place.

I used to think that New Year resolutions were a silly thing. Like I said, a person doesn’t really need to wait till the New Year before making a resolution. But I guess wanting to turn a new leaf, or make a new start in the right direction should never be belittled, but encouraged. If fact, making resolutions only once a year many not be often enough.

Many of us have at one point or another, thought about wanting to change the world, like in Michael Jackson’s song “heal the world, make it a better place, for you and for me and the entire human race”. But very quickly, we realize that is almost an impossible task. No one man can change the world; tainted, corrupt and broken as it is.… certainly not a person as ordinary as you and me. Greater men have tried and failed. Changing the world is reserved for extraordinary people, with extraordinary hearts and mind. People like Nelson Mandela, or Mahatma Ghandi, Martin Luther King

But let me put this to you; we CAN change the world. We CAN make a difference. And it all starts with that simple New Year’s resolution that we made at the stroke of midnight. We can’t save lives, rouse rallies or start revolutions, but we can strive to become a person, and encourage our fellow man to do the same. And when enough of us do this, when enough people focus on trying to fix themselves and not other people, many of the problems of this world will also fix themselves. They fix themselves because the one causing them – us – have been fixed.

So whatever your new year’s resolution is this year… try to keep it. You may not believe that something as trivial as losing weight, doing better at work, or volunteering more often can actually change the world… but I think if it’s something that’s going to make you a better person, and you remember to keep your heart in the right place… it can, and it will.

Helen Keller, the great advocate of women’s suffrage, workers rights and disable people once wrote this


"I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble."

And mind you, Helen Keller herself was blind, deaf and mute. If she can say and believe those words, so can we.

So Happy New Year everyone and good luck with those resolutions.

Good Works

She calls out to the man on the street

"Sir, can you help me?

It's cold and I've nowhere to sleep,

Is there somewhere you can tell me?"

He walks on, doesn't look back

He pretends he can't hear her

Starts to whistle as he crosses the street

Seems embarrassed to be there

She calls out to the man on the street

He can see she's been crying

She's got blisters on the soles of her feet

Can't walk but she's trying

Oh think twice, it's another day for

You and me in paradise

Oh think twice, it's another day for

You and me in paradise

Phil Collins - Another Day in Paradise

I thought twice today. I passed one of them and ignored them as usual. I already knew how I felt about them.... but I didn't stop to think what it was she was holding in her arms. Then I realized... it was a baby. I turned around, walked up to her.. and emptied all the loose change and small notes I had in my pocket and put them in her dirty yellow bowl.

She bowed her head in thanks. But I dared not look into her eyes. I was ashamed in some ways. Whatever I was giving, I knew it was not enough. Spare change doesn't qualify as philanthropy.

And now I find myself wondering - why is it that dying to self is still not evident in my life? Why does it not come naturally? If I am truly renewed... why is there no fruit to show? Where are my good works? Can it be.. . that I am in fact... still lost?

*shrugs*

Yong Vui Kong

My heart goes out to a 20 year old boy named Yong Vui Kong tonight.

If you haven’t heard of him, it’s time you do.

Vui Kong is currently locked up in jail in Singapore. He has until the end of the month to live before being executed – for drug trafficking.

But before you start making assumptions, know this; Vui Kong is from Sabah. His father left when he was 3. His lived with his grandfather who was abusive. His mother worked 12 hours a day trying to support her 6 children. He grew up in poverty. He never stopped school when he was ten to wash cars. His salary was RM3 per day. Food was never enough and his mother alone could not make ends meet. To help, Vui Kong moved to KL, trying to earn enough money to help his mother. With no education, no ability to read, write or speak, the only jobs Vui Kong could were ones where wages were a mere possibility and beatings likelihood.

And that’s when Vui Kong met the only people who could give him any decent kind of work and paying him properly without being abused – local triads.. TAIKO. Vui Kong help his taiko sell VCD’s and collect debts… and the first time in his life, he actually had enough money to buy her mother a present for his mother’s birthday. She had been sick. But Vui Kong didn’t have a chance to give her the present.

A few days later, big brother asked Vui Kong to deliver a ‘gift’ to his friends in Singapore – with a promise of a significant reward for doing this favour. Vui Kong naively agreed. You don’t try to be smart and ask too many questions when the boss gives you a task especially one that promised a good reward. It’s not like he had a choice anyway. Doing work for Big Brother seemed to be the only decent thing he could do to make a living.

Vui Kong was arrested in Singapore. He had unknowingly carried in 47.27g of heroin. Big brother told him the packet just contained smuggled cigarettes.

And now, Vui Kong faces death.

No one disputes the laws of the country. No one disputes that he was found with drugs. But do you think Vui Kong deserves to die for this? Many do not feel so. Articles have been written, petitions have been forwarded, and pleas have been made for the Singapore President to grant clemency to this boy. Singaporeans, Malaysians, people from the international community – no one wants to see this boy die. This was not some evil drug trafficker. This was an innocent boy. Naïve and ignorant perhaps – but innocent nonetheless.

But the Singapore government has a hard task ahead. It is a country that strictly upholds it laws with no compromise. It has a job of enforcing the laws of the country and preserving its peace. Should it grant Vui Kong a pardon, they fear that the malicious Big Brother will look for more innocent boys like Vui Kong to be their drug mule. What will we do then when 10 other Vui Kong’s suddenly emerge? Grant them all a pardon too? It is these triad bosses that we all really want brought to the gallows… even the Singaporean government knows that. But instead, it is stuck with what to do about Vui Kong

We will have to wait and see if the President of Singapore Mr. SR Nathan will grant Vui Kong a pardon. I hope will all my heart that he does. Vui Kongs failure is not of his own.. but of society and humanity. His failure is our failure. His mistake is our mistake. It is our failure as a society that has brought him to this point. It is our responsibility now as society not to punish him - but save him. The law of the land must be respected and upheld. But justice without mercy is cruelty. Let us not blindly enforce our laws to the point of sacrificing our humanity.

In his months in jail, Vui Kong has come to learn the teachings of Buddhism. He has vowed to be a advocate against drug abuse and to use his own life as a testimony to others. I hope he gets his chance to fulfill those vows.

More readings here:

http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/opinion/article/a-plea-does-yong-vui-kong-deserve-to-die/
http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/yongvuikong/
http://theonlinecitizen.com/2010/05/prejudicing-a-fair-trial-the-yong-vui-kong-case/

In Greed We Trust

“A Native American grandfather talking to his young grandson tells the boy he has two wolves inside of him struggling with each other. The first is the wolf of peace, love and kindness. The other wolf is fear, greed and hatred. "Which wolf will win, grandfather?" asks the young boy. "Whichever one I feed," is the reply.”- Native American Proverb

 
The greed of man. They make me sick. They leave me a nasty aftertaste every time they sing their support in spirit of fairness, cooperation & teamwork. They tell you they only want to help you and do you a favour since they’re such ‘giving’ people. And help you they do. They smoothen the path, take down the barriers & make things go your way. You look good. They look good. Everybody wins. And then, it’s time to pay the piper. It’s called kickback. I scratch your back, you scratch mine. I kicked the ball your way. Now it’s time to kick some back to me.

I’ve seen the eye(s) of greed. It hides behind faces that look just like yours and mine. They talk and laugh just like you and I. They condemn crooks, thieves and cheaters just like you and I. But beneath that well polish public persona, is someone who traded in righteousness, honour and dignity for cold hard cash. Never mind if the livelihood of others gets ruined. Never mind if others suffer on your account. Others already got their cut, now it’s my turn. Let someone else be the morally upright. I just want my money.

I can’t help but feel the irony. It’s the people who have more that want more. The man on the ground, living a simple day to day life has so much less - but does not scheme, cheat or double cross. He does not secretly broker deals for ‘kickback’. He earns his keep honestly & humbly from with his own bare hands. His only concern is to be treated fairly, and with dignity. Dignity - the one and only priceless thing he holds. He looks up to the man above him, in respect & awe. He recognizes their superiority. Younger yes, but intelligent, eloquent, capable, and with so much potential – the kind man he hopes his own son will be some day. Little does he know what lurks in the hearts of these ‘bright young men’. He doesn’t know of their lustful pursuit of money & power. He doesn’t see the wonton greed in their eyes.

The worst part of it is – it spreads. Their greed breeds more greed. Others see what’s happening, and they are shaken. They let go of their own principles. Everyone’s getting some, everyone’s doing it. If I don’t do it, I’m just being stupid. Don’t be a fool - this isn’t the age of honour & trust. We’re not wearing coat of arms, and we aren’t knights in shining armour. It’s the modern age – people look up to wealth, money, power. These days, respect is gain from success, not virtue. Look at the man on the ground. Every tiny cent earned from sweat and toil. Just look how far that got him. Does anyone look up to him & respect him? Is he giving orders or taking it? Honesty the best policy? Come on. Get real.

I sit at the side, quietly observing as the two men meet. They exchange pleasantries.

One thinks the other is the kind of man all men should strive to be, if they’re smart enough.

The other thinks this one is the kind all men should never be, if they’re smart enough.

And I can’t help but think how wrong the both of them are. It should be the other way.

Then That Is Who You Must Become

I read something that really stirred and inspired me the other day. Here it is:

"To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness. What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places -- and there are so many -- where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction.

And if we do act, in however small a way, we don't have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory." - 

by Howard Zinn

Later on, I read something that summed the above up in on simple beautiful line:

If the type of person you wish existed doesn't, then that is who you must become. - I wrote this for you.

I felt stirred. I shared this belief too. If you think the world needs more compassion, sacrifice, courage & kindness, if you think the world can be a better place, the best place to start is with yourself. Most of the time, we feel like just one person can't make a difference. But even the tiniest of raindrops can create ripples that grow into mighty waves. To echo Michael Jackson in Man In the Mirror,

If you want to be make the world a better place, 
Then look at yourself and make a change.

Of Beggars & Pasar Malam

Every single day as I turn the last corner into my apartment, see this man.

His hair gray as ash, his skin a deep dark chocolate. He walks on a stick. Its a busy street. But somehow, he manages to cross the entire 4 lanes of road every single day and just stand there... by the road, right at the traffic light. Every time a car stops for the red light, he looks their way. He reaches his hand out.

He's a beggar.

Sometimes, people wind down their windows and hand his some cash. He moves closer to take the money quickly.. before the light turns green. Even if it's charity, people aren't ready to wait 2 seconds once the light goes green. Even if it's charity, they do it when it's convenient for them. Even if it's charity, they do it at their own terms. That's the city for you.

I've never given a single cent to this man. Neither does he bother looking my way when I stop at the red light. I take this junction on a daily basis. He probably recognizes my car.. and my face. He knows I'm not one of them giving type. On some days, I do feel sorry for him. I am tempted to reach into my wallet and hand him a ten ringgit note. A poor old man, no job, no income. Can't walk without the help of a stick. He swallows his pride, reaches his hand out... and begs for money... and I feel like no person should ever have to subject themselves to such indignity. Someone help this poor man. Other days, I look at him in disdain. The cynical side of me takes over. With two able hands, and an able body, why are you taking the easy way out begging? Is that walking stick even genuine? If you can stand under the hot sun for hours on end every single day... If you can brave crossing the big main road every single day.. the you can certainly get a job. Why do you leech off the kindness and pity of passers-by?

This beggar. Where does he live, what does he do? Why does he beg? Questions, questions, questions... Most people I know aren't bothered about these questions when it comes to beggars. They walk by, the see a man in need, they feel pity and sympathy, and they give. End of story. They've done their little part in helping others. Never mind if they aren't genuine, never mind if they're part of a syndicate, never mind if they make more money just reaching their hand out begging that an honest labourer slogging it out.

I can count with my fingers the number of times I have given to beggars. Don't get me wrong... I'm not heartless. I feel for them.. I really do. It pains me to see them, especially the ones that get mutilated and dumped at Pasar Malams to beg.......Not this old uncle who is obviously begging on his own accord. Some have their hands or legs cut off, others have they tongue cut out and I've seen some with deformities so bad I don't even dare look at them straight.. in fear of offending them by staring. I can't bear the sight of them.. and I usually look away. Part of me feels so sorry for these people.. can you imagine being kidnapped and mutilated and sent to a foreign country to beg?... Part of me feels angry.. at the people who did it to them... these son of a bi*ch criminals who think nothing of taking away the dignity of others, ruining peoples lives and mutilating them, just so they can fill their pockets with a few extra dollars.

It really amazes me how desensitized we as a society can become in the face of such a sight. Hundreds and hundreds of people frequent these pasar malam's every single night.. They come with their family, they come with their boyfriends... they buy they fish sticks and drinks... hackle and bargain with the traders... and just 5 feet away, sits this deformed and mutilated beggar in the MIDDLE of the street, crawling, bowing their head and begging for money. What do we do? Nothing. We just walk by. The girls will cringe, the men will have stoned faces... but we do nothing. We quicken our pace, and we take an extra step away, as if they were some sort of disease... and sometimes we throw out loose change into their little plastic containers. The right thing to do is to perhaps offer these people some food, or take them to the nearest police station or even community center. But no.. we do none of that. We go on enjoying our little drinks and finger foods and what have you 10 seconds after walking away. Somehow, we can be so emotionally detached in the face of such suffering. What if you were the one sitting there begging? What if it were you and your legs cut off? Wouldn't YOU want someone, anyone, to come save you from your plight? Not just give you loose change, but take you away, and out of this hell hole... this demeaning, miserable and horrible life of begging? WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY HELP? HOW CAN SO MANY CARE SO LITTLE? In many ways, we have failed our fellow man.

If there is one single reasons that keeps me away from Pasar Malam's... this is it. I cannot stand the sight of these beggars. It breaks my heart.... I'm a big softie deep down you see, and 30 minutes after walking away, I still have the image of them lingering in my head. I cannot bring myself to give them any money..... Some will call me cheapskate or kedekut.. or even heartless. But I can't give them because it feels like I'm giving to some criminals who deliberately mutilated these people for this very purpose.. money. And I cannot come to terms with the fact that despite all my so called righteous ramblings about the right thing do to help them, I would end up just doing the same thing; NOTHING. I'd just walk away, like everyone else. I'd be no different from every other person.. at least they gave some money...... Realizing all the above and still do nothing just makes me more a hypocrite that everyone else.

I don't know about you.... but having to confront yourself and deal with these sort of issues of humanity and human suffering just because you want your favourite char koay teow from the pasar malam is a bit heavy for me. The hardest decision I'm ready to make in a pasar malam is on which stalls has the nicest chicken wings, not whether or not I have failed towards my fellow human being.