Blah..

Hello God.

Yeah. It’s me again. You know how people always say “Same shit, different day”? Yeah well… so far, that doesn’t apply to me. It’s more like different shit, different day, everday.
I know you’ve got all this big plans and all for the universe, for the world, for mankind, and even more me… but really at this moment in this, you really gotta cut me some slack and answer me this:

Why the heck am I here doing what I’m doing? What is it that I’m supposed to learn? What is it that supposed to happen? Where is it you want me to go? What is it you want me to do?

Because very frankly God, I have no idea. Sometimes I think I do, but then you have this knack of throwing curve balls that no one seems able to catch. And since you’re the God of everything, I assume fairly accurately that you do know what’s going on.

According to you “In his heart, man plans his course, but the Lords determines his step.”… True enough, after planning my course, the steps don’t quite tally with the plan. Kinda like sailing. The captain sets his course and navigates accordingly, but in the end, his boat will go only where the sea and its winds will take him.

So where are you taking me God? Where are you taking me? If my job is to walk the paths presented before me, then why THIS path? Why do I find myself doing all THESE things?

In my heart, I think that perhaps if I knew the answer, I’d thread it more boldly, with a better sense of purpose. We all want to know the destination before experiencing the journey. It’s our funny way of gauging if the destination will be worth the journey. All that talk about the journey being the destination itself… well frankly, it doesn’t entire hold water. Journeys are incidental in moving towards a destination. You never set out on a journey for the sake of it, with no destination in mind.

But in many ways, isn’t that exactly how we all start life? We are born, raised, educated and thrown out into society, fully expected to know how to function and contribute. We’re all expected to know just what we want out of life and we want to achieve.

We didn’t ask for this life, though it was gifted to us. And in living it, we are then left to answer WHY this gift was given in the first place. It’s like we’ve all been kidnapped from a previous life and dropped into this Paradise island that’s both a mixture of heaven and hell. And with no visible host, no tour guide, no camp commander, we don’t really know what the heck we are supposed to do on this island.

Sigh.

Don’t mind me. I’m just ranting.

It’s just been a really shitty day.. that’s all.

Cheers everyone… and God.. if you read my blog, if you’re not going to tell me where this train is heading, then at least make the trip a fun one.