To Lend or Not To Lend

To lend or not to lend? That is the question.

Sex And Money.

Perhaps our two biggest driving forces in life. Coincidentally also the two least openly discussed topics among people.

I’m not in a mood to talk about sex today, because the other one is more on my mind.

It’s on my mind because my need for it has grown exponentially over a very short time. It’s on my mind because I’ve been running short of it recently. It’s on my mind because others have been running short of it, and have been asking me for it.

I received distressing news last night about a couple we know quite well. Apparently they are short on money (due to some reasons I will not bother to write) and need very urgent assistance, preferable within the next 2 days.

“How? What do we do? Can we loan them the money?” my other half asked me just as I was about to fall asleep.

I kept silent. Truth be told, I didn’t know what to do.

So many thoughts ran through my head. I was exhausted and had a 4 hour drive to make 5am in the morning I refused to answer.

The next day, in the middle of my work day she text me.

“They want an answer desperately. Tell me what should I do or say?”

I thought hard about it again. I replied.

“Please explain that we are hard pressed too. We’re making a down payment on the house, we’ve got 4 mouths to feed, house expenses and bills, a business to run, many debts owed to us from others and ZERO savings… how much can we help?..... BUT… by God’s grace, we WILL help whatever way we can k. We’ll discuss how much we can give tonight.”

And that was that.

We’ve financially helped 4 to 5 other people within the last one year.

My own brother did not have enough money for a down payment on his car. His old car was falling apart and he needed to change. We lend him the money out of love. He hasn’t been able to repay us yet. Another friend of a friend apparently was next to being evicted by their landlord and needed cash quick. We trusted our friend and loaned the money. After many false promises, the money is nowhere in sight. Three other people owe us money for different reasons, but the point is, we haven’t received our money.

And here there came another person asking for help.

The couple that needed the money were easily twice our age. But they were not doing very well financially, to the point of almost being declared bankrupt. But they were good people. They were the Godparents of my other half’s younger brother. Ten years ago, when it was him that needed help, this couple was there to help. They gave him shelter, they gave him love. Today the tables have changed, and I felt it was only right to help them. How could we NOT help?

Yet, how do we help when even on our own, we are just getting by?

Rent to pay, bills to pay, car to maintain, a new house mortgage, and four jobless people I am single handed-ly supporting. As good as my pay is, it’s still not enough. And as icing to the cake, people are asking for our help with money.

What am I, a bank?

Sigh.

My first instincts are to say “Sorry, can’t help you.” It’d be SO easy to say that. And no one could ever blame us for saying it.

Yet….. yet…..

I know in my heart that I could never turn down a person who was genuinely in need. Because once upon a time, I was a person genuinely in need. And in those times, I was selflessly helped by other people. That debt weights heavily on me. Not just towards the people, but to God almighty himself. It’s hard to ignore grace when you’ve been such a big beneficiary of it. And because of that, even if it means being stupid, being foolish or being naïve, I know we will eventually help them.

Will we suffer? Will it hurt us financially by helping them? Probably.

Will we be duly repaid the money or the deed, I honestly don’t know. I hope so.

Doing this – lending money again – sounds noble and you may think I’m trying to earn ‘brownie points’ for being a good guy. Trust me, I’m not. In fact, I feel really really stupid for agreeing to it.

But I know it’s the RIGHT thing to do,

Because it’s the LOVING thing to do.

Matthew 25:45


Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’.