Wedding Industry
But something isn’t quite right with the way we are getting married these days. Did you know that there’s this entire wedding ‘industry’… and it consist of hotels, bridal galleries, wedding photographers, videographers, specialist wedding cake bakers, florist, make-up artist, card printers, decorators, planners, car rental services, music bands….. the list goes on and on. If you’ve gotten married recently or on the verge of it, I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.
What this people have done is made the whole process of getting married a money making process… hence the term industry. Nothing ‘wrong’ all of this of course….. in most cases, there is a genuine demand and a genuine supply for such services. People in the industry aren’t (always) greedy little goblins ready to bring you to the slaughter house the minute you mention ‘wedding’.
Over Glamorization
But there IS still something wrong. And that’s the over glamorization of weddings. Many brides (and brides-to-be) have been brainwashed into wanting this so called ‘perfect’ wedding. Full of glitz, full of glamour; beautiful gowns, fancy photo shoots, grand entrances, wedding favours, customized cards, sophisticated floral arrangements, expensive bridal cars, diamond studded wedding bands… the list is endless. We’ve all been brainwashed into buying this idea of what all weddings are supposed to look like – perfect. And that’s where the problem starts…
No Perfect Wedding
There is no perfect wedding. Anything that can go wrong, WILL go wrong. It’s Murphy’s law.. whoever Murphy is. The table colours will be wrong, or the rain will come, or the food will taste bad, or the band will screw up, the brides shoe will break or the priest will show up drunk (OK, maybe not). Whatever it is, something will not go the way things are planned. And couples freak out… tears are quick to follow… usually by the brides… because all they wanted is one day….one perfect day on their wedding, just like how they imagined when they were young… and even that got taken from them. So much time, so much effort, so much money, so much fuss spent on getting the wedding right..couples end up thinking more about their wedding than their marriage.
Wedding = Marriage?
Look at the wedding of the late Princess Diana. By all accounts a fairy tale wedding; it was televised to 750 million people (no Youtube back then), 600,000 people lined up outside the church to see her, her gown was 8 meters long worth 9000 GBP, her ring was with sapphire with 14 diamonds around it, her wedding cake was made by some royal baker in Belgium…She was literally marrying a prince. But still, it ended in infidelity, heartbreak and eventually death.
Not all of us are going to have such dramatic lives of course, but here’s the point – how good your wedding is has little to do with how good your marriage is. The wedding is for a day, but the marriage is for life. Yet before tying the knot, we end up spending the bulk of our time thinking about the wedding instead of the marriage. Something is wrong when we spend 6 months to a year thinking planning for one particular day, but only start thinking about the rest of our lives after its too late.
I know all of this is sounding so serious and gloomy.. especially when it’s about weddings. But by comparison, weddings are actually the easy part. Relationships are tough.. and I imagine marriage is probably the toughest of them all. We should give it more thought than the wedding.
When it’s all warm, fuzzy and romantic, there really isn’t much fault you can find in your partner at all. Her fair is perfect, his moustache is adorable, her whims are cute and his demands are noble….
Sure you have different opinions and different ways of doing things.. buy hey, it’s nothing your love can’t overcome right? Love conquers all baby….
But when the novelty has passed and disillusionment sets in, you wonder what happened to the person you thought you fell in love with.. you wonder why you never saw how different your values and beliefs really are, how different you handle money, how different your individual goals are, how different you imagined your marriage is supposed to be. You fight about money, family, holidays, roles and responsibilities… THEN you start to wonder if you’ve perhaps married the wrong person.
Of course, by then it’s too late because you already said ‘I do’.
Doesn't Matter Anyway
If you’ve just skimmed through everything I wrote above, then just read this summary:
Weddings aren’t that important. Maybe a lot of women and brides-to-be will want to murder me for saying that, but it’s true. I’m not saying it’s a complete waste of time. It isn’t. But it’s probably only 0.004% a part of your marriage. That’s the percentage of 1 day of the rest of the 60 years of your life.
What you’re better off doing instead of thinking about corsages, table arrangements, gowns and what have you, is to think about what it means to be a married couple for the rest of your life; what it means to go from becoming two to one; what it means to say for better or for worse; and what it REALLY means to say ‘I do’ in the presence of God. Talk about your plans together, your priorities, your outlook of money, what you each want out of life, your common values….If you're part of a church and they have marriage preparation courses, attend it. If not, talk to you parents, or long married couples... You’re opening a big can of worms of course, and you won’t be able to sort it all out immediately, but at least it’s the right direction.
If you can do that… if you can see things for what they are and not get confused over what’s truly important and prepare accordingly - then even if on your wedding day it rains, the photographer is lost, the band is missing and the bride trips and falls during the march in – you will still be blessed with a good marriage and a life happily ever after….
Congratulations to all our friends who are recently getting / got married. I won't wish for you a fantastic wedding.. but a lasting marriage. God bless you!
Cheers...
No comments:
Post a Comment