Questions Women Ask

I was just thinking about this the other day. As a guy, you sometimes find yourself getting in a lot of trouble because of some carelessly answered questions. Seemingly innocent and harmless questions asked by your other half that at the time of answering, you had not idea would get you into such a mess. So for any man who has ever been, is or will be getting into a relationship with the fairer sex any time soon, here are a list of ‘DANGER QUESTIONS’ that women often ask which usually signifies the end of you (should you not answer them properly):

#1 Do I look fat in this dress?

For some reasons, many women ask this even when they’re skinny as a chopstick. They usually happen when you’re already late for some function somewhere and she’s trying on the fifth dress in a row. If you say Yes, you’re delayed for another 15 minutes for her to try on another one. And will forever remember that you think she loos fat. If you say No, she will say you’re lying… because she DOES think she looks fat in the dress (otherwise she wouldn’t be asking you in the first place)


SOLUTION : Say No.


Statistically, if you say ‘yes, there’s a 100% chance of being even later than you already are, and that she’ll be upset for the rest of the night because you just confirmed to her that she’s fat. Say No, and there’s at least a 50% chance she’ll agree and you can finally be on your way. Simple right?


#2 How come you don’t buy me flowers anymore?


Flowers are to women what i-Phones, cameras, computers, cars and machine guns are to men. They make our hearts melt. But this question isn’t really about flowers at all. In fact, it’s not even a question. It’s a WARNING. She’s telling you that you used to do a lot of romantic stuff for her, but she now realizes that you don’t anymore. In other words, you KPI (Key Performance Index) is down. You need to take action or risk a drop in your ratings (Yes, women have secret ‘boyfriend ratings’).


SOLUTION : Say you don’t buy flowers because next to her, the flowers look ugly. THEN, go buy flowers (as many as you can afford), Plan a candlelit dinner. Write her a song… etc…or any romantic thing you can think of.


You know the drill. Do something different for her. I know you think that phase of the relationship is supposed to be over now that you’re already together… but the unfortunate truth is – women want their romance and they will squeeze it out of you if they have to not stop wanting it. So whether it come to you naturally or not, some effort to be romantic will be required here and there.


#3 What do you think of Bali / Paris / Tokyo?


Again, this isn’t a question at all. It’s a thinly veiled expression of desire to go to that place. An alternative translation to this is “I want to go to Bali / Paris / Tokyo… and you’re going to take me there.”. Maybe not so forcefully, but that’s the intent. When she asks you about a certain holiday destination, it means that in her mind she’s already mentally preparing to be there with you. Whether or not YOU like the place is secondary.


SOLUTION : Save money. Book early.


Sorry…. There’s no way out of this one. You will eventually have to bring her there, whether it’s 5 months or 5 years from now. It all has something to do with their need for romance in their lives. And going on a romantic holiday just the two of you is one of those things. The only other way out is to convince her of an even more awesome place you could go together, like Chicken Hartz All-You-Can-Eat Chicken Buffet. But I doubt she’d say yes.



#4 What do you think of her?


This is usually about another female friend of yours. BE WARNED : THIS IS A LOADED QUESTION. It’s left open ended because she wants what’s at the top of your mind to surface. She’s trying to gauge your level of attraction to that woman. She’s trying to assess if that woman is of any threat to her position. Answer this question wrong, and you’re in big big trouble buster.


SOLUTION : Less is More. Be sincere but not overtly praising.


This is a minefield, so thread lightly and with tact. If you think she’s possibly the hottest woman to grace the earth since Megan Fox, just say she’s pretty. If you think she has a smile that melts a thousand hearts and a voice that makes the angles weep, just say she’s sweet. Any show of too much enthusiasm will spell trouble. Bruce Banner (from The Hulk) isn’t the only one with a green monster hidden in them ya'know. Don’t try to exaggerate on your friends bad qualities either – she’ll pick up that you’re just saying things to disarm her.


#5 IF you were not with me, would you be attracted to her?


Any man would know this is a trick question. ‘IF’ is an awfully big word here. This is probably the single most loaded question she can ask you ever (the other one is 'Have you fixed the toilet yet?'). She may try to convince you that the question is purely academic and hypothetical. But it’s not. It’s SUICIDAL. The intent is similar to #4 above.. probably because she wasn’t convince with your answer. She’s on to you my friend.


SOLUTION : Call on your Miranda rights; the rights to remain silent and to a fair trial. Also call upon the universal accept rights that you are innocent until proven guilty.


It is a well-accepted medical fact that women have a more sophisticated anatomy compared to men. This includes a lie detector somewhere in their brain. They can know if you’re lying. So before you get yourself in trouble with clumsy responses, don’t say anything. Think carefully not just on what to say, but also on how you say it. Because she’s not listening to your words at all..... she already knows your lying. She’s reading your emotions, because she wants to know how much. So before you get grilled, best to prepare and rehearse.

Having said that….


I do believe that honestly is the best policy most all of the time. The truth will get you much further in your relationship than any amount of lies added together. Remember, lies have speed but the truth has endurance. After they are done raising all hell and going on an eating spree and blaming it on you, they do eventually thank you and appreciate your honesty. If she does look fat, just say something gentle like “Maybe just a bit.. but you still look great..” If you haven’t been romantic, or haven’t brought her for a holiday, just say you’re sorry you didn’t think of it sooner and offer to bring her the next chance you get. If you do think your female friend is pretty hot and all and that you do have a small crush, well, she probably knew already. So just say (tactfully) that yes you find her attractive, but you’re more than happy with what you have. A hug and a kiss after that usually helps.

Cheers... and good luck!