Tensions Within

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I’m an idealist. But I have hidden my ideals deep deep down inside. I have come to this stage where I can control who I am, what I do, how I behave and what I believe, but I can’t change the world. That’s not my destiny. I can change ME, I can influence the people around me (to a certain extent) but I’m never going to be a Martin Luther King preaching ‘I have a dream’ to the masses. Neither do I want to.

And about those things I write… ya well… believe it or not, I am almost embarrassed about the things I write. I feel it’s ‘lou tou’, or old fashion. In this age of Youtube videos & interactive multimedia, I don’t think people appreciate the written word quite as much as they used to. I think I’m a relic from the past.

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But I sense that you are no longer an idealist. You’ve given up on the world. You’ve resigned. But I also see that it is through your writings and your so called ‘poems’ that you allow your ideas and believes to surface and exist. It’s almost like you have a split personality. There is a tension in you – between what you believe and how you think things should be.

But I’d urge you to not stop questioning, thinking and asking – even if some people tell you not too. Too many people just go through life without really thinking about the bigger things in life at all.

As for your writing, don’t stop. Writers and poets ARE a dying breed which is all the more reason you should continue. Plus, I don’t know of any other engineers who think or write the way you do. Most are pretty boring. Except you… you make for a one of a kind engineer.

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