Hi there,
I don’t really have anything worthy to say tonight. I just wanted to sit and listen to myself type and see what comes out.
I’m alone. I could go home, but I just don’t want to yet. I want to sit here, and here the sound of my keyboard as I type this words out. I say that, but actually what I’m really doing is listening to myself think.
I think it’s my perpetual need for solitude every now and then. I need it as much as I need the company and love of people around me. I always feel the need to be loved and wanted. I suspect we all do. But I also feel the need to be alone sometimes. This I know, not everyone will fully understand.
It’s peaceful, and almost joyous in a way. To have a quiet moment and time to yourself. A sort of serenity descends on me when there is quietness and no one is around and I am free to do exactly what I’m doing now. Writing out whatever comes to mind.
People have been writing diaries and personal journals for ages. And I think by now I understand intimately just way. Those who write are often reflective and pensive people. Those who write often have a thirst for truth, not just on the outside but also on the inside. People who write often dig into the inner most parts of their psyche and heart for the truth. Because they know that unless confronted, our hearts hide, mask or deny the truth rather than reveal it. Because revealing truth is often painful.
I realize that though all of us have hearts made of flesh and blood, not all are the same. Some of hearts that are strong, courageous, unyielding, unbending, and able to withstand all sorts of attacks, knowing not the definition of fear. Others have hearts that falter so easily, they get frightened and the fire in them gets squashed out with little resistance. But I have seen also seen some hearts; small as they are, weak as they may be, strive and persevere and refuse to be beaten. Hearts that have a fire can be dimmed, but refused to be put out.
I realize that the strongest people I’ve known are not the people who dare face everything the world has in store for them, but the people who dare face the things that manifest in their hearts. Because when you take a closer look, it’s not the former but the latter that is the hardest to confront.
Good night friend. I hope you are well.
From
Me
Monday, February 28, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Memories of Sheffield
“So how are things in Sheffield? Still the same?”
“Yeah, pretty much.” she said.
“But it has changed still… there are a lot less people these days. Many of you are all back here, and there are so few of us left.”
I just nodded in silence. I had dreamt many times of going back there one day. I knew there was nothing in itself that was particular special. Sheffield was just like a lot of other English towns. Small, quaint, quiet, cold. It was more about the idea of Sheffield, and what it represented to me personally that has led my mind back to it over and over again.
It was a place of escape, of new beginnings, of self exploration and learning. It left and indelible mark on me. I don’t know if it was despite of or because of how short a time I was there.
I learned the sense of comradeship people tend to develop with one another when living in a foreign land. Somehow, everyone you befriended were not just your normal friends back home. They were almost your brother / sister away from home. They looked out for you and kept you company, and you did the same for them.
I learned another way of life. One that did not involve viciously struggling and fighting in the corporate world for money or influence. I learned about summer barbeques, picnics in beautiful gardens and hills. And I even learned that walking to and from work / studies was perfectly fine.
And though I miss the beautiful hills, gardens and cool summer air, the thing I really missed the most was the bond I shared with the people I had come to know. I had grown so fond of them. I met a guy named Jason, whom I though (and still do) was the kind of cool guy I always wanted to be. An elderly lady named Auntie Ruth was also there, who showed me how a person could be 65 years young. I deeply respected a guy named Chee Meng, who sort of took on the role of an elder and took care of everyone. And I befriended a bubbly, cheerful but caring lady named Mary, who for some reason I grew the fondest of. It was her that I was speaking to now.
“Seeing all of you here, it makes me want to come back.” She had that look on her face. The kind of look a person has when their hearts are torn between two lovers, or in this case, two places.
I nodded again in silence. I understood.
To her right sat Jason. He came back two years ago, working in Kuala Lumpur. We just finished talking about his passion for running, and his super cool Vibram shoes. Brother Chee Meng had also came back 2 year earlier. He was no deeply involved in teaching English to the children of Myanmar refugees. A few moved to Manchester, or London. So many more had come home. And the new people who came, didn’t take root and didn’t bother to bond.
From my eyes, Sheffield was where all these great people and great memories were. But I could see through hers eyes that that Sheffield no longer existed. It’s shell was there, but big parts of its innards had been removed…..
And tonight, that big parts of that were sitting right at the table, coming together because of a common past and memory. Beautiful and sad at the same time.
I put my hand on her shoulder, as if trying to comfort her.
“Well, you can always come home Mary. We’ll all be happy to have you.” I said. Selfishly of course. We always want the people we love close to us.
We can never get back the memories of Sheffield we once knew. We can never make things back to the way they used to be. But we can make new memories, and they can be great too… right here in KL.
God bless you Mary. Till we see you again.
Take good care of yourself.
“Yeah, pretty much.” she said.
“But it has changed still… there are a lot less people these days. Many of you are all back here, and there are so few of us left.”
I just nodded in silence. I had dreamt many times of going back there one day. I knew there was nothing in itself that was particular special. Sheffield was just like a lot of other English towns. Small, quaint, quiet, cold. It was more about the idea of Sheffield, and what it represented to me personally that has led my mind back to it over and over again.
It was a place of escape, of new beginnings, of self exploration and learning. It left and indelible mark on me. I don’t know if it was despite of or because of how short a time I was there.
I learned the sense of comradeship people tend to develop with one another when living in a foreign land. Somehow, everyone you befriended were not just your normal friends back home. They were almost your brother / sister away from home. They looked out for you and kept you company, and you did the same for them.
I learned another way of life. One that did not involve viciously struggling and fighting in the corporate world for money or influence. I learned about summer barbeques, picnics in beautiful gardens and hills. And I even learned that walking to and from work / studies was perfectly fine.
And though I miss the beautiful hills, gardens and cool summer air, the thing I really missed the most was the bond I shared with the people I had come to know. I had grown so fond of them. I met a guy named Jason, whom I though (and still do) was the kind of cool guy I always wanted to be. An elderly lady named Auntie Ruth was also there, who showed me how a person could be 65 years young. I deeply respected a guy named Chee Meng, who sort of took on the role of an elder and took care of everyone. And I befriended a bubbly, cheerful but caring lady named Mary, who for some reason I grew the fondest of. It was her that I was speaking to now.
“Seeing all of you here, it makes me want to come back.” She had that look on her face. The kind of look a person has when their hearts are torn between two lovers, or in this case, two places.
I nodded again in silence. I understood.
To her right sat Jason. He came back two years ago, working in Kuala Lumpur. We just finished talking about his passion for running, and his super cool Vibram shoes. Brother Chee Meng had also came back 2 year earlier. He was no deeply involved in teaching English to the children of Myanmar refugees. A few moved to Manchester, or London. So many more had come home. And the new people who came, didn’t take root and didn’t bother to bond.
From my eyes, Sheffield was where all these great people and great memories were. But I could see through hers eyes that that Sheffield no longer existed. It’s shell was there, but big parts of its innards had been removed…..
And tonight, that big parts of that were sitting right at the table, coming together because of a common past and memory. Beautiful and sad at the same time.
I put my hand on her shoulder, as if trying to comfort her.
“Well, you can always come home Mary. We’ll all be happy to have you.” I said. Selfishly of course. We always want the people we love close to us.
We can never get back the memories of Sheffield we once knew. We can never make things back to the way they used to be. But we can make new memories, and they can be great too… right here in KL.
God bless you Mary. Till we see you again.
Take good care of yourself.
Friday, February 25, 2011
The Vanishing Roti Man
It’s amazing how fast and how dramatically things have changed within the last 10 or so years...
I was just driving one day.. and there was a man on a motorbike in front of me and his bike was filled EVERYWHERE with bread, junk food and pastries. I was kind of surprised, because I hadn’t seen such men in such a long long time. I’m sure you’ve seen him before too. Here it is:
Familiar to you? Yes, it’s the Roti Man. (Roti = Bread) Many of us grew up to the familiar sight and sound of the Roti Man going house to house, tooting his horn announcing his arrival. All you had to do was open your door and shout “Roti!” and he would park right at your doorstep. Kids and parents from all around would start to gather around his bike to make their purchases.
The Roti Man used to be such a common feature in neighborhoods back then. These days, you only find him in the suburban areas or in small towns… even then, I doubt if there are many of them left. Something tells me that in another ten years… the roti man will most likely be extinct.
What has changed? Well, people did. People no longer waited at their doorstep for the Roti Man to buy their weekly loaf of Gardenia like they used to. No time. People also started living in Condominiums and gated communities…. places the Roti Man had no access too. And as for the Roti man… selling roti probably got harder and harder. Hypermarkets sold the same things he did at a much lesser price and with greater variety. The cost of fuel for his motorbike was also escalating every year. His customers taste buds were also getting much too sophisticated. He had kaya, butter and coconut. People wanted croissants and baguettes. The roads seemed to get busier and more dangerous as the years went by… and he was getting older and older. His strength was leaving and his eyes were failing. A day will come when the roti man will have to stop riding.
I suppose it’s inevitable. As times change, new things come into being and old things go extinct. My dad told me there was once a group of people called Stevedores who loaded and unloaded ships at docks. Stevedores are extinct by now of course. Next to the Roti Man, I think the Putu Mayam uncle, Susu Kambing seller and the old newspaper collector might well go down the road of extinction too.
Remember the old newspaper chant?
“Sao Gau Pou cheee! Oww Newsss Payper! Peli sulat kapar lama, peli payper lama, peli pattery lama”… honk honk honk… then repeat….
Can you recall how that looked and sounded? I do.. And for what it was, I considered it charming. It’s a sad thought knowing that many people these days won't get to experience that sort of thing anymore. We’re more occupied with Facebook, Twitter and a slew of other online preoccupations these days. I don’t think anyone would notice even if the Roti Man did drop by.
To us, the Roti man is vanishing from our neighbourhood. But to the Roti Man, it is we who have been vanishing from our doorsteps.
I was just driving one day.. and there was a man on a motorbike in front of me and his bike was filled EVERYWHERE with bread, junk food and pastries. I was kind of surprised, because I hadn’t seen such men in such a long long time. I’m sure you’ve seen him before too. Here it is:
Familiar to you? Yes, it’s the Roti Man. (Roti = Bread) Many of us grew up to the familiar sight and sound of the Roti Man going house to house, tooting his horn announcing his arrival. All you had to do was open your door and shout “Roti!” and he would park right at your doorstep. Kids and parents from all around would start to gather around his bike to make their purchases.
The Roti Man used to be such a common feature in neighborhoods back then. These days, you only find him in the suburban areas or in small towns… even then, I doubt if there are many of them left. Something tells me that in another ten years… the roti man will most likely be extinct.
What has changed? Well, people did. People no longer waited at their doorstep for the Roti Man to buy their weekly loaf of Gardenia like they used to. No time. People also started living in Condominiums and gated communities…. places the Roti Man had no access too. And as for the Roti man… selling roti probably got harder and harder. Hypermarkets sold the same things he did at a much lesser price and with greater variety. The cost of fuel for his motorbike was also escalating every year. His customers taste buds were also getting much too sophisticated. He had kaya, butter and coconut. People wanted croissants and baguettes. The roads seemed to get busier and more dangerous as the years went by… and he was getting older and older. His strength was leaving and his eyes were failing. A day will come when the roti man will have to stop riding.
I suppose it’s inevitable. As times change, new things come into being and old things go extinct. My dad told me there was once a group of people called Stevedores who loaded and unloaded ships at docks. Stevedores are extinct by now of course. Next to the Roti Man, I think the Putu Mayam uncle, Susu Kambing seller and the old newspaper collector might well go down the road of extinction too.
Remember the old newspaper chant?
“Sao Gau Pou cheee! Oww Newsss Payper! Peli sulat kapar lama, peli payper lama, peli pattery lama”… honk honk honk… then repeat….
Can you recall how that looked and sounded? I do.. And for what it was, I considered it charming. It’s a sad thought knowing that many people these days won't get to experience that sort of thing anymore. We’re more occupied with Facebook, Twitter and a slew of other online preoccupations these days. I don’t think anyone would notice even if the Roti Man did drop by.
To us, the Roti man is vanishing from our neighbourhood. But to the Roti Man, it is we who have been vanishing from our doorsteps.
What You Give
I stood in front of a showcase of women’s jewellery, staring with my mouth wide open.. both in awe and in shock. A beautiful diamond studded necklace, with a price tag equivalent to the price of a small car, or working man’s wages for a full year, and many times over a beggar’s collection for life.
An obscene amount of money to be paying for some shiny little stones to hang around your neck.
“Who buys these stuff anyway? Who could ever afford such things?” I asked myself rhetoricallly. I knew who.
The rich and ultra rich of course; the people we all love to hate, but secretly love to be.
The two people who were with me simply shook their head and walked away, with a look of disdain on their faces. But what were we expecting anyway? We were after all in Starhill, Bukit Bintang. Things didn’t get any more posh and expensive in KL than over here.
It’s not hard to understand why people sometimes harbour a dislike for the rich of society. Some would hate them simple because they aren’t one of them.
But for most of us, I think it has a lot to do with that necklace behind the showcase - sold at the price of a small fortune. The thought that there are people who not only afford, but actually do pay that kind of money for a shiny piece of ornament, while the majority of the population struggle with bread and butter issues, it’s just outrageous.
Nothing wrong with being rich. But I do wonder whether the people who buy these things with spare cash ever thought of spending that spare cash on charity instead. It could mean someone's education, it could mean someone's next meal. It could mean someones life or death. That same amount of money can change a person’s life.
I know this because that amount of money changed MY life. Someone who had that money made it a point to spend it on me, when money was the crucial determinant of how the rest of my life would unfold. Instead of keeping it for other things, they chose to bless me with it. They stood to gain nothing out of it, yet they did it anyway. With it, I got myself an education, a job and a life. I could afford paying my mother’s medical bills, I could afford no longer living on others sympathy. With it, my life changed course.
It’s so easy to hate the person who will ultimately buy that necklace. It’s easy to imagine that they are selfish, careless people blowing a fortune on superfluous things, conveniently ignoring the sufferings of the world. We want them pulled down to the ground, to taste the bitter earth and harsh soils the rest of us live in. We want to teach this rich brats a lesson or two about what it really means to have a tough life. That way we’d believe justice has been done and we’d sleep better at night.We want them to know that the amount of money they have has the power to change lives, but they are abusing that power on superfluous things.
But what if it’s not true? What if the person buying that necklace turns out to be someone really nice? what if what someone gives as much as he/she gets? Would you still resent them buying an expensive necklace even after having done more than their share of civic duties to society? Will you resent a billionaire who gives away billions?
It’s hard to hate a giver isn’t it?
Maybe what we really hate isn’t just rich people at all. Maybe its not so simple. Maybe what we hate are people that aren’t givers. People who have received so much in life yet fail to give back any. Rich people become easy targets because having a lot implies precisely that; that you have received plenty but given back little. But again, this is not an attack on people with money.
Forbes magazine tells you that the two richest man in the world, Warren Buffet and Bill Gates are also one of the greatest philanthropist in the world, having given away billions. But for me, there is someone else – a simple man named Rick Warren. Rick was the pastor who wrote the best seller book ‘A Purpose Driven Life’ that Christians the world over have read. The book sales made him an instant millionaire. What did he do with all that money? He gave it way.
ALL OF IT.
He even paid his church back all the salary he’d been drawing since the beginning.
If average joe’s like you and me received 10 million dollars out of the blue one day, how much will YOU give out?
It’s easy for billionaires like Bill Gates to give out billions because he already has more than he can ever need. Everything else after that is just about numbers. But for average people like you and me, how hard it is to give out money we so desperately need ourselves. In my heart, I believe Rick Warren gave more than Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, simply because it meant so much more to him than them. I wrote about this some time back, read it and you’ll see what I mean.
http://ifimbeinghonest.blogspot.com/2010/07/widows-offering.html
In the mean time, here’s the amazing talk and testimony Rick Warren gave. Do listen to it. It’s powerful, and inspiring. If only you listen.
If you're a rich man, and you're reading this. Think carefully about the next fifty thousand dollars you're about to blow at a casino or at the designer boutique. You have the power to either waste it away, or change someones life. Think about that for a moment.
And if you can't think of anyone in particular who needs it.... well, you can always give it to me. ;-)
Have a good weekend everyone.
An obscene amount of money to be paying for some shiny little stones to hang around your neck.
“Who buys these stuff anyway? Who could ever afford such things?” I asked myself rhetoricallly. I knew who.
The rich and ultra rich of course; the people we all love to hate, but secretly love to be.
The two people who were with me simply shook their head and walked away, with a look of disdain on their faces. But what were we expecting anyway? We were after all in Starhill, Bukit Bintang. Things didn’t get any more posh and expensive in KL than over here.
It’s not hard to understand why people sometimes harbour a dislike for the rich of society. Some would hate them simple because they aren’t one of them.
But for most of us, I think it has a lot to do with that necklace behind the showcase - sold at the price of a small fortune. The thought that there are people who not only afford, but actually do pay that kind of money for a shiny piece of ornament, while the majority of the population struggle with bread and butter issues, it’s just outrageous.
Nothing wrong with being rich. But I do wonder whether the people who buy these things with spare cash ever thought of spending that spare cash on charity instead. It could mean someone's education, it could mean someone's next meal. It could mean someones life or death. That same amount of money can change a person’s life.
I know this because that amount of money changed MY life. Someone who had that money made it a point to spend it on me, when money was the crucial determinant of how the rest of my life would unfold. Instead of keeping it for other things, they chose to bless me with it. They stood to gain nothing out of it, yet they did it anyway. With it, I got myself an education, a job and a life. I could afford paying my mother’s medical bills, I could afford no longer living on others sympathy. With it, my life changed course.
It’s so easy to hate the person who will ultimately buy that necklace. It’s easy to imagine that they are selfish, careless people blowing a fortune on superfluous things, conveniently ignoring the sufferings of the world. We want them pulled down to the ground, to taste the bitter earth and harsh soils the rest of us live in. We want to teach this rich brats a lesson or two about what it really means to have a tough life. That way we’d believe justice has been done and we’d sleep better at night.We want them to know that the amount of money they have has the power to change lives, but they are abusing that power on superfluous things.
But what if it’s not true? What if the person buying that necklace turns out to be someone really nice? what if what someone gives as much as he/she gets? Would you still resent them buying an expensive necklace even after having done more than their share of civic duties to society? Will you resent a billionaire who gives away billions?
It’s hard to hate a giver isn’t it?
Maybe what we really hate isn’t just rich people at all. Maybe its not so simple. Maybe what we hate are people that aren’t givers. People who have received so much in life yet fail to give back any. Rich people become easy targets because having a lot implies precisely that; that you have received plenty but given back little. But again, this is not an attack on people with money.
Forbes magazine tells you that the two richest man in the world, Warren Buffet and Bill Gates are also one of the greatest philanthropist in the world, having given away billions. But for me, there is someone else – a simple man named Rick Warren. Rick was the pastor who wrote the best seller book ‘A Purpose Driven Life’ that Christians the world over have read. The book sales made him an instant millionaire. What did he do with all that money? He gave it way.
ALL OF IT.
He even paid his church back all the salary he’d been drawing since the beginning.
If average joe’s like you and me received 10 million dollars out of the blue one day, how much will YOU give out?
It’s easy for billionaires like Bill Gates to give out billions because he already has more than he can ever need. Everything else after that is just about numbers. But for average people like you and me, how hard it is to give out money we so desperately need ourselves. In my heart, I believe Rick Warren gave more than Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, simply because it meant so much more to him than them. I wrote about this some time back, read it and you’ll see what I mean.
http://ifimbeinghonest.blogspot.com/2010/07/widows-offering.html
In the mean time, here’s the amazing talk and testimony Rick Warren gave. Do listen to it. It’s powerful, and inspiring. If only you listen.
If you're a rich man, and you're reading this. Think carefully about the next fifty thousand dollars you're about to blow at a casino or at the designer boutique. You have the power to either waste it away, or change someones life. Think about that for a moment.
And if you can't think of anyone in particular who needs it.... well, you can always give it to me. ;-)
Have a good weekend everyone.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Talk Is Cheap
People are strange don’t you think?
Some yearn so much, yet do so little,
Some know too little, yet judge so swiftly,
Some desire so greatly, yet give up so quickly,
Some believe so intensely, yet falter so easily,
Some criticise so readily, yet help so reluctantly,
Some take so greedily, yet give so unwillingly
A lot of us are very good at saying all the right things.
A lot of us are very good at pointing out others faults.
A lot of us are very good at teaching others a thing or two about life.
Yet when it really comes down to it, many don’t live up to their own words.
Many don’t walk their talk. In fact, many do just the opposite of what they preached.
Why?
Because their hearts and minds don’t match.
Because the good things they preached were preached with very little emotional conviction.
They know with their head, but fail to embrace with their heart.
Your actions are guided by your heart more than it is by your mind.
What you do reveals more about your heart than what you say.
If you want to know what’s in a persons heart, look at what they do.
A person who loves you does it in action.
A person who wants to help you does it in action.
A person who wants to succeed does it in action.
Talk is cheap.
If you feel something in your heart and want it to manifest in your life...
DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
Some yearn so much, yet do so little,
Some know too little, yet judge so swiftly,
Some desire so greatly, yet give up so quickly,
Some believe so intensely, yet falter so easily,
Some criticise so readily, yet help so reluctantly,
Some take so greedily, yet give so unwillingly
A lot of us are very good at saying all the right things.
A lot of us are very good at pointing out others faults.
A lot of us are very good at teaching others a thing or two about life.
Yet when it really comes down to it, many don’t live up to their own words.
Many don’t walk their talk. In fact, many do just the opposite of what they preached.
Why?
Because their hearts and minds don’t match.
Because the good things they preached were preached with very little emotional conviction.
They know with their head, but fail to embrace with their heart.
Your actions are guided by your heart more than it is by your mind.
What you do reveals more about your heart than what you say.
If you want to know what’s in a persons heart, look at what they do.
A person who loves you does it in action.
A person who wants to help you does it in action.
A person who wants to succeed does it in action.
Talk is cheap.
If you feel something in your heart and want it to manifest in your life...
DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Why Men Hate Valentines Day
So it’s Valentine’s Day today.
Rather interesting build up to Valentines day here in Malaysia if you ask me.
First the National Fatwa Council declared that was a Christian celebration that Muslims are forbidden to celebrate. (They also declared Yoga and chanting to be un-Islamic by the way). The Islamic Development Council (JAKIM) also went on an anti-Valentine’s day campaign to deter (ahem) innocent young Muslims from committing Khalwat or Maksiat…Then, local opposition parties said they were going ‘crackdown’ on couples trying to have immoral activities during V day. Here’s some of the news.
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2011/2/12/nation/8054296&sec=nation
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2011/2/12/nation/8054296&sec=nation
Many a ulamaks and Ustazah had already declared that all these immoral, hedonistic, maksiat-ic activities were of Christian nature.
The local Christian community were of course going “WTF? OMG? What’s this all about?” So the Church community duly declared that Valentines day was in fact NOT a religious celebration. They didn’t celebrate it anymore than they did Chap Goh Meh… The church shunned and preached against all sinful acts including immoral activities and overpriced flowers.
Needless to say, everyone eventually wanted to have put in their 5 cents on the matter. Politicians, NGO’s, Local Councils, Religious Departments… everyone started making press statements. Some agree, some disagree… rest just shrugged their shoulders and kept quiet.
But actually…. What most of us silently started to think was “Oh shit, it’s Valentines Day… AGAIN.” Well… at least the men do.
All men hate Valentines day just in case you didn’t know yet. Men associate it with overpriced flowers, fixed couples menus, unrealistic romantic expectations, and most disturbingly, a big hole in your pocket. If you’re a man and you don’t hate Valentines day, its may be because you aren’t dating anyone yet, OR romance comes second nature to you… in which case you’re probably Italian or Alien.
Women are divided into two. The ones thatnaively innocently expect to be romanced on this allegedly special day by their lover boy…. and the ones that battle-hardened enough to know that men just aren’t going to do anything (unless creatively forced into it).
Yes, creatively forced into it…
Because women being women… WANT to be romanced…. and they want it to be a natural part of the relationship. They want to man to wine and dine her, serenade her with sweet song, read poems to her, call her beautiful names and make her feel like the most specialest-est person on earth.
But women being women, also know well enough that men, being men, would not bother to make the effort without beingcoerced motivated into it. And so women come up with a lot of not-so-subtle hints that they expect something special on Valentine’s day.
Men being men, find that romance does not come naturally to them. Once in a while, yes. But naturally? No. But again men being men, usually try their best not to disappoint their other half. Hence after receiving various ‘hints’ that something special is expected on Valentines day, they give in. They have private mourning sessions in the foreknowledge that their wallets are about to be raped, and the devil-incarnate will dawn upon them in the form of Flower shops and Florist selling a dozen roses for three hundred dollars.
Many women cry when they receive flowers on Valentine’s day. But I’ll tell you a secret. Men cry too…. when we buy it that is.
Men are the sort that are used to doing things on their own terms. We don’t like it when we are forced to play by other people’s terms. And that’s exactly what happens on Valentine’s Day. The florist sets their terms, the gift and card shops sets their terms, and the restaurants sets their terms. Instead of feeling like a man taking charge of romancing his lady, we end up feeling like we’ve just been ripped off and emasculated more than anything else.
But it’s not all a lost. Even though romance is an alien word to us, men do try their best to make their partners happy, even if it cost us a little. Despite everything I’ve just said, men will still buy the overpriced flowers , expensive dinners and heart shaped chocolates to win a lady's hear.
Why?
Because we still love you more than we hate Valentines day.
Have a Happy Valentines Day everyone….
Rather interesting build up to Valentines day here in Malaysia if you ask me.
First the National Fatwa Council declared that was a Christian celebration that Muslims are forbidden to celebrate. (They also declared Yoga and chanting to be un-Islamic by the way). The Islamic Development Council (JAKIM) also went on an anti-Valentine’s day campaign to deter (ahem) innocent young Muslims from committing Khalwat or Maksiat…Then, local opposition parties said they were going ‘crackdown’ on couples trying to have immoral activities during V day. Here’s some of the news.
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2011/2/12/nation/8054296&sec=nation
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2011/2/12/nation/8054296&sec=nation
Many a ulamaks and Ustazah had already declared that all these immoral, hedonistic, maksiat-ic activities were of Christian nature.
The local Christian community were of course going “
Needless to say, everyone eventually wanted to have put in their 5 cents on the matter. Politicians, NGO’s, Local Councils, Religious Departments… everyone started making press statements. Some agree, some disagree… rest just shrugged their shoulders and kept quiet.
But actually…. What most of us silently started to think was “Oh shit, it’s Valentines Day… AGAIN.” Well… at least the men do.
All men hate Valentines day just in case you didn’t know yet. Men associate it with overpriced flowers, fixed couples menus, unrealistic romantic expectations, and most disturbingly, a big hole in your pocket. If you’re a man and you don’t hate Valentines day, its may be because you aren’t dating anyone yet, OR romance comes second nature to you… in which case you’re probably Italian or Alien.
Women are divided into two. The ones that
Yes, creatively forced into it…
Because women being women… WANT to be romanced…. and they want it to be a natural part of the relationship. They want to man to wine and dine her, serenade her with sweet song, read poems to her, call her beautiful names and make her feel like the most specialest-est person on earth.
But women being women, also know well enough that men, being men, would not bother to make the effort without being
Men being men, find that romance does not come naturally to them. Once in a while, yes. But naturally? No. But again men being men, usually try their best not to disappoint their other half. Hence after receiving various ‘hints’ that something special is expected on Valentines day, they give in. They have private mourning sessions in the foreknowledge that their wallets are about to be raped, and the devil-incarnate will dawn upon them in the form of Flower shops and Florist selling a dozen roses for three hundred dollars.
Many women cry when they receive flowers on Valentine’s day. But I’ll tell you a secret. Men cry too…. when we buy it that is.
Men are the sort that are used to doing things on their own terms. We don’t like it when we are forced to play by other people’s terms. And that’s exactly what happens on Valentine’s Day. The florist sets their terms, the gift and card shops sets their terms, and the restaurants sets their terms. Instead of feeling like a man taking charge of romancing his lady, we end up feeling like we’ve just been ripped off and emasculated more than anything else.
But it’s not all a lost. Even though romance is an alien word to us, men do try their best to make their partners happy, even if it cost us a little. Despite everything I’ve just said, men will still buy the overpriced flowers , expensive dinners and heart shaped chocolates to win a lady's hear.
Why?
Because we still love you more than we hate Valentines day.
Have a Happy Valentines Day everyone….
Monday, February 7, 2011
Coffeshop Talk : The Meaning of Life
Spoken over a cup of coffee....
***************************************
The poetry of life, with the love it contains and that contains it, is the only response to death - E. Morin, French philosopher and sociologist
“My brother is still asking me what’s the meaning of life. What do you think I should say to him?”
“Tell him to look for the answer in church….”
“CHURCH? I don’t think he’ll be impressed by that answer.”
“Because if you try to look for the answer only in science and logic, it’s all doom and gloom. The facts tell us that life is basically about being born, growing up, falling sick, growing old, then dying. It does little to give any meaning or reason to it.”
“But if you want truth and meaning, then you need to look beyond science and facts… And start looking into religion, faith and spirituality.. Because the question of truth isn’t purely factual, its spiritual.”
“Hmmm……….so what do you think IS the meaning of life then?”
“Do I look like a Sage on a hill to you?”
“Come on, I’m sure you have an answer…”
“AN answer yes.. but not THE answer….”
“I think….. the meaning of life…. is………… relationship.”
“I think all of life is about that; our relationship with our fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, friends, colleagues, etc and also with God. I think relationships give meaning to life. That’s why 80% of the time, our worries and concerns in life are about relationship. Other things like money problems can always be worked out… and they almost always do.”
“But relationship issues are usually what give us the biggest thrills as well as heartaches. That’s why all the pop songs are love songs… Relationships stir and inspire us the most because ultimately, it’s what we all are wired to do – develop relationships.”
“And what about love? Do you think that there’s still a place for that? Because I know so many people who just don’t bother about love anymore.”
“I dunno….. I think that deep down inside, we’re all idealistic people. We want to believe that love is enough, that love is all conquering, that when two people love one another there is nothing they cannot overcome. I still try to hold on to that belief in my heart even as many others throw it out the window.”
“My own mother is like that. She is only concerned with money, security and materials… Nothing about love or relationships. What do you say to people like that? How do you make them believe in love again?”
“I don’t know………. Nothing really.”
“Really? Nothing?”
“I mean, you can’t really change them if that’s what you mean to do. But what you CAN do, is love them and make sure they know they are loved…. not because of anything they have, but simply because you do. Hopefully they will come around.....”
“And that’s the beauty about love; it’s not a zero sum game, it’s not a ledger sheet that must balance out. People love not because they gain a benefit out of it. On the contrary, people love because they want to bestow a benefit to someone else…even at their own expense.”
“A lot of times, people don’t know how to love because they have never been shown love, or they don’t recognize it when it’s there.”
“So you think I should try to get my brother a girlfriend? So that he can learn about relationships and love and stuff like that?”
“Hahaha… NO.”
“Then?”
“Tell him to go to church.”
***************************************
The poetry of life, with the love it contains and that contains it, is the only response to death - E. Morin, French philosopher and sociologist
Saturday, February 5, 2011
The Difference Sometimes
The difference between a friend and former friend is sometimes, just a call..
The difference between a lover and an enemy is sometimes, just an apology.
The difference between intimacy and alienation is sometimes, just a hug.
The difference between sincerity and pretentiousness is sometimes, just a heart.
Life isn't that complicated sometimes. It is us who complicates things.
In the long run, simple actions....simple words....and simple hearts......are what make the most profound differences in peoples lives.
Its not simple, living this life
Its hard and its harsh, its full of strife.
But in all that you do, God is there.
Look around you, love is everywhere.
So stay simple ans stay true
The only person you have to be - is you.
The difference between a lover and an enemy is sometimes, just an apology.
The difference between intimacy and alienation is sometimes, just a hug.
The difference between sincerity and pretentiousness is sometimes, just a heart.
Life isn't that complicated sometimes. It is us who complicates things.
In the long run, simple actions....simple words....and simple hearts......are what make the most profound differences in peoples lives.
Its not simple, living this life
Its hard and its harsh, its full of strife.
But in all that you do, God is there.
Look around you, love is everywhere.
So stay simple ans stay true
The only person you have to be - is you.
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