“So what DO you want to do then, once you’ve made it?”
“We plan to take a 2 year mission trip….”
“Mission trip as in…….. “
He didn’t exactly seem the spiritual type.
“As in we want to go on the MV Logos Hope for 2 years, which is the replacement for the Doulos ship.. and I want to use what I know about nutrition to help the people in need in far flung countries. And I also want to bring protein supplies for them… I think they severely need that….”
I kind of cringed at that. Here you go with your protein drinks again. But who was I to judge. I mean.. at least this guy had a plan to help others. I didn’t even have a plan for myself. I walked away from dinner that night thinking this guy isn’t so bad after all. For many years, I had labeled him as a money chaser. The kind of people whose ultimate goal in life was basically to have enough money that he will ever spend. They were talking the whole night about how they plan to do three wedding photo shoots, one in Paris, one in Dubai and one last one in San Francisco, where their wedding will be held. The kind of money they were spending on a silly photo shoot was obscene. I had to stop myself from smashing my head with a plate. He and his fiancée (our old time friend) were of the similar mold. They were showy and flashy, shallow and in my opinion, namesake Christians. This revelation surprised me somewhat because I didn’t think they were capable of any sort of selfless acts. I told myself that I should stop judging people by their appearances and instead try to learn something from this guys industriousness. I mean, he had it made. He could give his fiancée and his family every single thing money can buy AND have enough spare change to start doing humanitarian work. It’s hard not to envy that. It’s hard not to wish you were as capable as that guy.
I woke up the next morning with the conversations of last night still lingering in my head. Something wasn’t quite right… Something out of place.
***********
I recalled a separate recent conversation I had with my fiancée about money and helping people. One of her former colleagues was in desperate need of cash. Her family had got caught up in a lot of debt, defaulted on a lot of repayments and now the bank was threatening to reclaim their house. Her only solution was to quit her job and work in the middle east where the pay would be 5 times more. BUT… she needed to repay the bond she had to the hospital before they could release her. And for that she needed cash. It was a catch 22 situation. She needed to leave because she needed money. But she needed money before she could leave. And no one was willing to help; not the bank, not the relatives, and not even her so called close friends. My fiancée sitting 5000 miles away called me up and said she wanted to help her. She wanted to give her the money she needed. I objected. This wasn’t even a person we particularly liked. I didn’t know her very well. Why should we help when we can’t even be sure if she’s trustworthy? AND… we had our own needs to. We needed the money too….. for so many valid and legitimate reasons. We had 3 old folks and 1 college student dependent on us for survival. We had bills to pay, rent to keep and a wedding to pay for ourselves. We weren’t exactly in the best of positions to start giving out huge sums of money to people who were neither close to us nor related to us in any way. I seriously thought she was crazy. But she was adamant about it…. and she said that she wanted my blessing in this decision but if she didn’t she was going to proceed anyway. Which obviously got me pissed off.
I battled the issue for days and weeks in my heart. This made not a sensible decision. This was not a wise thing to do. All for what? For the sake of wanting to come across as noble and giving? No. I knew this was not the reason. She knew the risk involved. But she chose to trust her. And in her own words, she believed that this was the right thing to do. And that was what swung me over. Because I knew that that was the truth. Lending her money would cost us dearly, but it WAS the right thing to do. We love because we were first loved. We blessed because we were first blessed. We graciously help others even when we aren’t obliged to.. because we have received help from others even though they were not obliged to. It’s not some sort of law. It’s love.
I agreed and gave it my full blessing. I personally did the transaction and met up with the friend. She was given strict instructions not to tell anyone about it. There was no need for other people to know about it. That night I went home and prayed to God committing the money and what we had just did into His hands. It may yet turn out to be a mistake. Or she keep her promise and return the money to us one day. It was up to Him. Either way, I prayed that in all of this our deeds and our heart was in the right place. Not to brag, not to boast, not to earn praise, not to gain merits in the sight of God, but to love others in consistence to how God loved us.
****************
I thought about that, and I thought about what this guy was planning to do… and the difference became as apparent as day and night.
This man was saying that ONCE he made it big, ONCE he has nothing to lose, ONCE there is no risk, THEN he will help others, THEN he will go out and start being selfless. What’s wrong with that? It’s that very subtly, it’s saying that ‘I still come first’…. Other people, be it the homeless, the poor, the sick or the malnourished – they still come second. I will only start helping other people once I’m totally secure. It reveals that at the very core, we are still selfish at heart. And when you disguise that with statements that come across as being noble and giving on the surface, you’re now not only selfish, but also a hypocrite.
Honestly, this was how I used to think too. In my heart, I knew that I was never going to risk anything of my own in order to help someone else. But it’s cheap talk for a millionaire to say he’s going to give out money because he already has loads of it. It’s cheap talk to say you’re going to spend your time feeding the poor when it doesn't mean you having to lose your food. It’s cheap talk to help others when that deed personally cost you nothing. And when doing something cost you nothing, in the eyes of God it is of little value. I am reminded of the Parable of the Widow’s Mite.
Mark 12:41-44 - The Widow's Offering
Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.
In life, nothing of value is gained without sacrifice. And the measure of your deeds isn’t by how much others gained from it, but from how much it cost you. And that is the truth.
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