Love, Hope, Kindness

I really don’t know.

I guess that’s just life.. I think deep down inside we all believe that if we believe in something deeply enough, if we want something badly enough – that through sheer willpower, it will come true. We do this all the time. In our work, In our relationships, in our lives. People are such hopeful creatures - to the point where we actually deceive ourselves with our optimism.

We’re all stubborn in that sense. We refuse to give up on things like love, hope and kindness even if they seemed to have failed us repeatedly in this life. A big part of us needs to believe as human beings that these ideals and values hold true in this world. Otherwise we will all live in nothing but despair.

Sometimes I really do wish I could do more for people. It breaks my heart watching them as they struggle to pick themselves up having gone through failed relationships, wrong decisions or repeated mistakes. How I wish I could just show up and give them all the right instructions in order so that they need not go through even an ounce of pain and suffering anymore. Though it is not I who suffers directly, I put myself in their shoes, and I feel their pain, and I experience their hurt.

But I can’t. No one can. There is no ‘Dummies Guide’ on how to be happy. There is no definitive guide on how not to make mistakes, or avoid heartache or suffering. As we grow older, though the wiser we seem to get, the harder the challenges life seems to throw at us. It seems like every time we think we’ve learned something to prepare us for the next challenge, life ups the level and we are faced with a problem we again don’t automatically know the answer to. We’re always learning, just one step behind. Just when we think we’ve got It all figured out, life throws a curveball at us and we find ourselves having to learn and relearn what we thought we already knew.

I used to be only too eager to offer people all sorts of advice and pointers – as if there were pre-determined steps you should do for each given situation. There’s a key to every door, a solution to every problem, an advice to every problem. But I stopped doing that – especially when it’s matters of the heart. People who want advice know where to seek it. But more often than not, people already know what they need to do. The thing we need most, is just someone to listen… listen and understand… understand and support - a warm hug, a pat on the shoulder, a word of encouragement. We don’t want the comfort of solutions. We want the comfort of love. More important than knowing a way out of the dark hole we are in, we want to know we are not alone - that we are loved no matter what. That there will ALWAYS be someone who cares for us. That as volatile and unpredictable as life can be, SOME things will always hold true, SOME things will never change, SOME people will always be there for us. We need that. We need that so much.

Like I said, I really don’t know.

I’m out of insight. I know only that whatever happens in life happens for a reason. Some, we figure out later, others we never will. But I believe they do. Sometimes, the reason extends beyond us. There are higher purposes in life that extend beyond our personal self. Just because we don’t entirely understand, doesn’t mean we cannot humbly learn to accept them. When we accept with our heart something we cannot entire prove, it becomes faith.

But like I said, we’re all a bunch of stubborn donkeys in some sense. Though we hurt and we grieve, we cry and we wail, we scream and we shout, we refuse to let our hearts turn into mechanical, emotionless organs. We’d rather put up with the pain than let go of the dogmatic believe that living life filled with love, hope and kindness IS the best and ONLY way to live. Because to live life without these things, isn’t what we’d call living.

Tell you friends – you don’t need advice.

You just need love, hope and kindness.