It's that time of year again. The year is coming to an end, Christmas is around the corner, and we have so many Fridays off as a national holiday, it hardly feels like a working month at all.
I have long been told by people that Christmas is often their favourite time of the year, regardless of whether or not they are Christian. There's just this positive vibe in the air, there's a sense of cheer, and everyone is basically in a holiday mood. Under normal circumstances, the fact that it's just a week away from Christmas would be reason enough to be skipping around with a smile on your face.
But I feel no such cheer this year. I feel no such joy in my heart. I woke up this morning and realized that it was just 12 days away from Christmas. And for once, I felt like I did not want a Christmas this year. I'd like to skip it, thank you very much. I didn't feel like wanting any presents from anyone,(never did anyway), and I didn't feel like going out and buying presents for anyone.
Christmas has become a bit too commercialized for my taste. Why do people go around buying gifts for each other anyway? Oh, because it's Christmas. But why do you go out and buy stuff for people? Oh, it's because that's how you celebrate Christmas. By buying gifts for people. All sounds pretty consumer driven if you ask me. Giving gifts to people are never a bad thing. But I don't want a gift just because it's Christmas and everyone is obliged to buy things for each other. Someone buys something for you, and in many ways, you feel obliged to return the favour, to buy one for them too. Even though you never had the intention to in the first place. Then you think "Gee, if I'm going to buy a gift for THIS person, it wouldn't be fair NOT to buy it for THAT person." It's a vicious link / chain. It's like, if you buy for one, you have to buy for all. And in the end, it just feels like a hollow expression.
I'm not buying anyone anything. And if I do, it's only for select people. I hate buying gifts. It's tough. To give someone a gift that MEANS SOMETHING, a lot of thought is required. More than that, a lot of UNDERSTANDING is required. It's not as simple as just buying the most expensive thing you can afford for them. A gift means nothing if it does not have a personal touch to it. And how do we dare to say we know exactly what to buy every single person. Most people just settle for things that they think the receiver will accept. And the thing is, when it comes to gifts, we often decide on buying A gift first, before deciding WHAT that gift is. I'm bad at that. Because frankly, the only times I feel like I know how to buy a gift for someone, is when way before Christmas, way before birthdays, way before any occasions comes up where a gift is required, I have already somehow managed to identify something that I'd like that person to have. Sometimes it's because that person needs it, sometimes it's because it means something to me and I'd like to share it, but mostly it would be because I know receiving it would mean something to the person. Only then do I really feel confident enough in buying something for someone. And how often do you get that kind of insight right? The point is that the idea of a PARTICULAR gift comes first.... and the time to give it after. These days, the exact opposite is done instead.
Sigh......
And this whole thing about celebrating Christmas. How DO you celebrate Christmas anyway? Apparently, exactly the same way every other major celebration is celebrated here in Malaysia. Stay at home. Watch TV. Sleep. Only addition is perhaps church in the mornings for those who are Christian. We don't gather around the Christmas tree to open presents (in fact, i didn't even bother setting up a tree this year), we don't have a nice dinner with everyone around. We don't go house to house singing and caroling. We have no steep tradition. At least, my family doesn't. Christmas is very much a mildly celebrated even in this part of the world... and how big a deal it is depends a lot on your own efforts to make a deal out of it.
I don't feel up to putting in any sort of effort this year. I don't want to buy presents, I don't want to put up a Christmas tree. I don't want to go to church and pretend like we're all cheerful and merry. Frankly this year........ I'd just like to skip Christmas.
so........
HAPPY HANNUKAH everyone. I have no idea what Hannukah is truly about.... but so the same goes for the rest of the world and Christmas. So what's the difference right?
Wake me up when the new year countdown begins. I so want to count down till the clock, shout "Happy New Year!!" and kiss the (hopefully) woman next to you, and burst out singing Auld Lang Syne with the rest of the crowd. Best part is? No presents required nor expected.
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