The Mark of Maturity

What is the mark of maturity?

How do you tell if one person is mature while another is not? What about the levels of maturity? How do you measure the extent to which a person is mature?

Sigh...

I was disappointed by someone again today. By someone I expected to behave in a more mature manner. By mature, I don't mean wiser or smarter or more intelligent, but simply by being more responsible.

Because to me, that's the true hallmark of maturity isn't it? How responsible you are as a person. How much responsibilities you take on and how you carry out those responsibilities. We are ultimately the sum of the things we do. We are the sum of our actions. And when we fail to act in a responsible manner, it shows just how mature we are. And by responsible, I really mean dependable. Because in many ways, a mature person is often a person you can depend on, be it for sound advice, cool heads or simply just to get something done. Is it really that hard to do. When you commission a task to someone to do, you trust that this person has the maturity of mind and the consistency in action to make sure things turn out the way you require them to. That's how you know if someone is dependable.

Dependability doesn't just happen overnight. It takes a lot of commitment and hard work. Dependability is perhaps the most unnoticed attribute of all... because it's so hard to see. You need to be with a person for a long time before you realize that this person is dependable. And even when you discover they are dependable, you might not think highly of this quality..... Until some disaster happens and you realize just how much you really need a to have people who are dependable.

Maybe I’m just being too hard on this person. After all, he is young. But when I was young, I did not behave like him…so what’s the excuse? I realized that while age is a good measure of a persons level of maturity, it is by no means definitive. I’ve come across many examples of younger people behaving more maturely that older people.

But then when? When will you grow up? When will you learn that big brother and big sister isn’t going to be around forever to take care of things? When will you realize that one day, someone will be depending on you? And just in case you haven’t notice, there already are people depending on you, and you are still not living up to it.

Sigh….

The strange part of it all is, this person is considered by many younger than him to be ‘big brother’. Many people younger than him look up to him and respect him and consider him to be a role model. They see him as this ‘mature’ big brother that knows how to get things together. Sometimes, I applaud this. I feel it’s good for him to have someone that looks up to him. That way, he’d feel compelled to actually live up to those expectations.

And yet, I see things about him that he so painstakingly lacks in terms of maturity. He has yet to learn lessons on responsibility, proper time management and the simple but oh-so-critical attribute of being dependable…. especially for your loved ones.

Take my word for it… if you have ever loved someone in your life.. know this… the most comforting thing you can provide someone is the knowledge that they can count on you when it matters the most. In times of crisis, it is often the knowledge that we never need to stand alone that gives us the greatest strength. It is the knowledge that if we ever find ourselves is so much trouble that we can’t help ourselves, there is someone there who will help you. And even if that help is never ever called upon, the mere knowledge of it is power enough to see you through.

If you are something to someone; brother, father, mother, sister, friend, colleague, roommate, client, supplier, vendor, neighbour… whatever it is…. be someone dependable, someone who can be relied on. When you do, people will learn to trust you…. they will know it’s safe to entrust you with important things, things that matter to them. And somewhere along the line, someone will eventually entrust you with something that matters most to them – their heart. Because you would have just given that someone a very very good reason to love you.

Where there’s trust, love is never far behind.

Think about it.

So what is the mark of maturity?

I would have to say the presence of trust.