I think its been easily 5 years since I last took any personality test; last being Personality Plus test that was all the rage then.. Since then, I've been pretty much living in a cave and lost interest in taking these sort of test. Sure they're interesting and fun to take.. but I feel that human beings sometimes are too complex and too sophisticated to just be generalized over a short test and a few lines. Its not something I take too seriously......until today that is.
As fate would have it, I stumbled upon a personality test that other bloggers seem to be taking (here's the link) and since the questions didn't reach a hundred and the sentences were all short, I decided it was something I could do in 5 minutes without frying my brain.
At the end... here's what I am.. INFJ - meaning Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging. What does it mean? Beats me...it's as enlightening to me as saying I Need Freaking Jellybeans. Luckily it also had an easier name to remember.. The Counselor (you can read it here , here and here also and tell me if it's true).... I didn't know what a Counselor was... but it sure sounded damn cool... Like Obi-wan Kenobi being The Negotiator in Star Wars. I was Compulsive Blogger, The Counselor.... Muahahahaha.....
Ahem...
But seriously though... I never expect to be reading something so insightful into my own heart off the internet just by answering 50 questions. And it goes beyond the rudimentary you are nice, you are witty, you like people etc etc.... This were genuinely things that go through my head and my heart that people have never ever been able to understand about me. I don't blame them... sometimes I think I don't understand myself fully either. But anyway, here's a few things that really strike a chord with me in the personality of The Counselor:
"Counselors can be hard to get to know, they tend not to share their innermost thoughts or their powerful emotional reactions except with their loved ones. They are highly private people, with an unusually rich, complicated inner life. Friends or colleagues who have known them for years may find sides emerging which come as a surprise."
You have no idea how true this is. Some people have known me for YEARS AND YEARS and still not know the true essence of me. I'm somewhat an expert in dodging personal and private questions. I usually deflect them and change the subject subtly if I'm not ready to share with that person or say it in the most nonchalant you'd think nothing of it. I never reveal the inner parts of my private life to people unless I'm convinced they are genuine and they really want to care. You will find that I am a person very very easy to have a conversation with, but unless you really really dig deep, you will not know the more intimate details of me and my life.
"Beneath the quiet exterior, INFJs hold deep convictions about the weightier matters of life. "
I hardly take strong stands on anything.. Very easygoing. But occasionally I become very stern or forceful about things when they are something close to my heart.. Things like care for the mentally ill, or the abuse of women and children...... and on a lighter note, where the best nasi lemak in town is.. lol.
"INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people.................On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates."
I've known this about myself for the longest time, to the point of maybe repeating it to death. I relate to people, one on one the best. I can do the whole groupie thing... but its when I'm one to one with a person that i feel genuine connection and fulfillment. It has always ever been the thing I crave for the most. I genuinely like and care for people, and enjoy getting to know them intimately... which is probably why people may think I'm an extrovert.
".....at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent "givers." As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood -- particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type."
I get this too. Sometimes, I just go into this 'shell' mode.. lost in my own thoughts.. I know it because it is usually the time when I feel like I need some space and alone time from EVERYONE. Some time just to be alone to be with your thoughts and reflect on my life. There has so far been only ONE person able to figure this own on their own, and it took her 7 years of being in a relationship wto realize it. It's usually in these times that I start my nonsensical rantings and blogging online, often resulting in looOong draggy posts.
"They are deep, complex individuals, who are quite private and typically difficult to understand. INFJs hold back part of themselves, and can be secretive."
HAH... you have no idea. For some reason, I have observed that I only talk about specific things to specific people. Everyone and everything is compartmentalized. It's like everyone has a pieces of this jig-saw puzzle of me, but NO ONE has the big picture. Sometimes resulting in me feeling like no one truly understands me. My own doing really. And yes.. I'm sort of a secretive person... but isn't that another word for private? Hence, also the anonymous blogging here; its a privacy thing.
" Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills."
That explains the blogging!
"...INFJs tend to be easily hurt, though they may not reveal this except to their closest companions. INFJs may "silently withdraw as a way of setting limits," rather than expressing their wounded feelings—a behavior that may leave others confused and upset"
This would be my usual reaction when feeling hurt. I've never been the confrontational type.. And if you hurt my feelings, chances are, you'd probably not know at all, since I'm neither spiteful nor do I want to come across as emotionally selfish by making a big deal out of my own feelings to you. Instead, I just silently retreat. I slowly stop calling you, I slow stop the calls and messages, and wait..... for the day YOU come to me. You will if you are sincere, and I should not have to ask it of you. If not.. then you'd go on with your busy life not noticing a thing, my hurt will subside, I will wish love and happiness in your life.... and becoming exactly what it says in my blog introduction; someone you know, but never really knew.
Some famous people with the same personality are Nathan, prophet of Israel (no kidding?), Mother Teresa of Calcutta, Martin Luther King, Jr, Billy Crystal & Jerry Seinfeld (love their comedy acts), Nelson Mandela, Mel Gibson and Nicole Kidman (love her!)
I think I just learned a thing or two about myself today. OK, maybe learn is not the word. More like.... my vague and fuzzy sense of self and personal understanding has suddenly become crystal clear. There's some sort of profound effect when you read a sentence that strikes so closely to your heart. Others read it and go "Oh really? Well, that's interesting". If you're lucky they'll manage to hide that patronizing tone. But for you personally, it's literally reading into the insights into your heart and soul. The sentences practically screams out at you. The words are there, but in between the lines it screams "THIS IS ME. THIS IS WHO I AM AND WHAT I"M LIKE THAT NO ONE HAS BEEN ABLE TO UNDERSTAND! ITS RIGHT HERE!" You yearn for a person to fully realize the significance of that puny little sentence, hoping that they not brush it aside so thoughtlessly, because brushing it aside would be brushing aside such a rare and precious insight into your heart. What a shame! What a waste!
Sometimes, you just wish people would pay more attention to the written word; they can be so underrated sometimes.
But then again... it may just be another one of those personality test, it's like reading your horoscope in the daily papers...who takes these stuff seriously anyway right? They're all full of mumbo jumbo and vague generalizations like "You've had a seriess of unhappy events"..."There will be challenges in the coming weeks" or "Be careful of the one who seems to never tell the truth".....that could apply to anyone!!...Or do they?
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