I've been getting into the habit of buying a lot of reading material lately... which is a good thing if you think about it.
I was at the bookstore.. when I just couldn't resist buying a copy of National Geographic Magazine.. which is kinda like the Big Daddy of all general interest magazines with picture so awesome and beautiful nobody bothers to read the words....
I also couldn't resist picking up a copy of Readers Digest... which is kinda like the Big Daddy of all........ (wait a minute. I said that already)... which is like... a really good magazine la basically....
Then, I couldn't resist buying a copy of Personal Money (which sells out very quickly) because it's kinda like million dollar advice for the price of $9.90 per copy...
and I ALSO couln't resist buying a copy of Digital Camera magazine... which I buy just to easy my guilt for having not spend any time whatsoever on my 'so called' hobby of taking pictures. It seems I spend more time reading about photography than actually doing anything about it. Which wouldn't be too bad...if I actually did any reading at all.
The problem I've been having is that I've been BUYING reading material... as opposed to actually reading it.
In addition to all the awesome but unread magazine above, sitting on my shelf are half a dozen highly recommended, critically acclaimed novels and books all unfinished or unstarted. Then there's another half a dozen books about relationship and marriage that half a dozen people thought would be a good thing to get me for my wedding. I'm sure their pretty good... at least that's what the back cover says.
So it's a Friday evening as I write this. its 6pm..... and very frankly, I just want to go home and read one of my many unfinished books. But I can't because numerouus appointments await me, tasks need finishing, and work is just unending.
Sigh...
Time's is always balancing game. Too much of it and it drives you crazy.. too little of it, and it becomes a luxury.
Have a great weekend..
Friday, January 28, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Bread and Lily
Gosh, how fast the year has gone by! It feels just like not too long ago that I was crashing at a friends place celebrating the new year. And now, it's almost the end of January!
I was just reading through my last years post on Chinese New Year and trying to figure out what I want to say this year. I haven't really figure anything out, so I'm really typing on the fly here.
Chinese New Year is a lot about family, which I really like. I'm big on family. I think family is DEE most important and essential thing a person can have in his / her life. It is the backbone on which we all rely on for support in going through life. But that's a strange thing to say coming from me, because I'm the same guy who will tell you that I hate my relatives. OK, I don't really HATE them, but I keep an extremely healthy distance from them. Not that there is anything wrong with them.... I just find keeping up with relatives to be a messy.
I came from a broken family..... and the idea of what a family should be like qucikly evaporated the day I saw my father holding another woman in his arms and insisting that I call her mother.... Inwardly, I swore that he'd have to pry the words out of my dead cold lips... but in the end, like many obedient (and stupid) children, I obeyed and called her such.
Anyway, since then I had to redefine to myself what it means to be family... and by extension who my family really was.
And I guess in my heart, very simply.... family are those people I know who are care about me and love me... and I, them. Family are the people who show concern about you, send you messages, calls you up, has dinner with you... and just ....CARES.... Nothing complicated about that. No need to try to over explain it.
Many friends around me I consider family, even if we have no formal or blood relations. I love them like I would my own brother or sister..... I MAKE them my family. I don't think I'm a lone in this. Otherwise, you'd never hear people say the phrase 'they are like family to me'...
On the other hand, I've disqualified a lot of blood related relatives from my 'family' list... simply because I have no relationship whatsoever with them. Having the same kind of nose, jaw, eyes or ears proves we come from the same stock... not that we have a relationship by default.
When I was younger, my mother liked reminding me that 'blood will always be thicker than water'.. whereas friends come and go. I've always felt uneasy with that phrase. It's true that blood ties go a long way.... but I also always liked believing that bonds forged in the outside world meant something too.....
Anyway, I don't really have anything particular to say this time round. January 2011 has been a rather tough month for me. A lot of big decisions were made this month, some methodically planned ahead, some at the spur of the moment... but I know in my heart that ALL these decisions I have made will decide the course of my life for the next 5 years and beyond.. I'm fast learning that being an adult means that the perks are many, but the challenges are even more..
Scared? As hell....
Worried? Like shit.....
Determined? Like a rock..
There's an old chinese saying that goes
When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other.
It's a fascinating proverb to me. No one has really explained to me what it means... But by reading it, I gather its trying to say to all of us that in spending the days of your life... remember not only to be concerned about the nitty gritty neccesities of life, but also the beautiful and wonderful things this world has to offer...because in the end, they both matter. I'll try to remember that the rest of the year.
Happy Chinese New Year my friend....
I was just reading through my last years post on Chinese New Year and trying to figure out what I want to say this year. I haven't really figure anything out, so I'm really typing on the fly here.
Chinese New Year is a lot about family, which I really like. I'm big on family. I think family is DEE most important and essential thing a person can have in his / her life. It is the backbone on which we all rely on for support in going through life. But that's a strange thing to say coming from me, because I'm the same guy who will tell you that I hate my relatives. OK, I don't really HATE them, but I keep an extremely healthy distance from them. Not that there is anything wrong with them.... I just find keeping up with relatives to be a messy.
I came from a broken family..... and the idea of what a family should be like qucikly evaporated the day I saw my father holding another woman in his arms and insisting that I call her mother.... Inwardly, I swore that he'd have to pry the words out of my dead cold lips... but in the end, like many obedient (and stupid) children, I obeyed and called her such.
Anyway, since then I had to redefine to myself what it means to be family... and by extension who my family really was.
And I guess in my heart, very simply.... family are those people I know who are care about me and love me... and I, them. Family are the people who show concern about you, send you messages, calls you up, has dinner with you... and just ....CARES.... Nothing complicated about that. No need to try to over explain it.
Many friends around me I consider family, even if we have no formal or blood relations. I love them like I would my own brother or sister..... I MAKE them my family. I don't think I'm a lone in this. Otherwise, you'd never hear people say the phrase 'they are like family to me'...
On the other hand, I've disqualified a lot of blood related relatives from my 'family' list... simply because I have no relationship whatsoever with them. Having the same kind of nose, jaw, eyes or ears proves we come from the same stock... not that we have a relationship by default.
When I was younger, my mother liked reminding me that 'blood will always be thicker than water'.. whereas friends come and go. I've always felt uneasy with that phrase. It's true that blood ties go a long way.... but I also always liked believing that bonds forged in the outside world meant something too.....
Anyway, I don't really have anything particular to say this time round. January 2011 has been a rather tough month for me. A lot of big decisions were made this month, some methodically planned ahead, some at the spur of the moment... but I know in my heart that ALL these decisions I have made will decide the course of my life for the next 5 years and beyond.. I'm fast learning that being an adult means that the perks are many, but the challenges are even more..
Scared? As hell....
Worried? Like shit.....
Determined? Like a rock..
There's an old chinese saying that goes
When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other.
It's a fascinating proverb to me. No one has really explained to me what it means... But by reading it, I gather its trying to say to all of us that in spending the days of your life... remember not only to be concerned about the nitty gritty neccesities of life, but also the beautiful and wonderful things this world has to offer...because in the end, they both matter. I'll try to remember that the rest of the year.
Happy Chinese New Year my friend....
Monday, January 24, 2011
Dreamers
There was once upon a time when we were all dreamers. We had small little bodies, funny looking hair and absolutely nothing to call our own in this world. And yet we had big dreams. There was nothing in life too big for us that we could not handle, there was no heights too high we could not reach. We had no strength, no inteligence, no experience, no wealth, no wisdom... but always had our dreams. Some dreamt of cotton candy fields, some dreamt of breezy ocean floors, and some, like me, dreamt of clear blue skies with the sun at the horizon.
We had dreams back then when we were called children.
And then we grew up.... and the larger our bodies grew, the more strength we gain, the more we experience life, the smaller that dream becomes... till eventually, it becomes nothing but a simple cubicle on the 15th floor we called our office.
Dreams don't belong in the real world. To have dreams is to be lofty, unrealistic and foolish. The world quickly teaches you that your life should be built not on cloudy dreams, but on the firm solid floor of reality. The world teaches you that dreams should be quantified in numbers and figures, deadlines and deliverables. If you're going to have a dream, then dream of the number you want to see in that bank account.
That’s the only dream the world allows you to have.
I stopped dreaming a long time back anyway.. long before I ever became an adult. There was just no time, and I just could not afford it. All I wanted was for everything to be okay.
But I have taken up to dreaming again of late. But this time, with eyes wide open. I dare myself to dream big, to imagine the impossible, to once again believe like a little child that when you dare to dream, it can come true...
Because it can, if only you dare.
"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one..."
"I hope some day you'll join us, and the world will live as one..."
- John Lennon
We had dreams back then when we were called children.
And then we grew up.... and the larger our bodies grew, the more strength we gain, the more we experience life, the smaller that dream becomes... till eventually, it becomes nothing but a simple cubicle on the 15th floor we called our office.
Dreams don't belong in the real world. To have dreams is to be lofty, unrealistic and foolish. The world quickly teaches you that your life should be built not on cloudy dreams, but on the firm solid floor of reality. The world teaches you that dreams should be quantified in numbers and figures, deadlines and deliverables. If you're going to have a dream, then dream of the number you want to see in that bank account.
That’s the only dream the world allows you to have.
I stopped dreaming a long time back anyway.. long before I ever became an adult. There was just no time, and I just could not afford it. All I wanted was for everything to be okay.
But I have taken up to dreaming again of late. But this time, with eyes wide open. I dare myself to dream big, to imagine the impossible, to once again believe like a little child that when you dare to dream, it can come true...
Because it can, if only you dare.
"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one..."
"I hope some day you'll join us, and the world will live as one..."
- John Lennon
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
When Life Overwhelms
Have you ever felt overwhelmed by life and all its demands? Have you ever felt like all at once there are so many things in life competing for your time and energy and life force?
As I write this, a heavy weight overwhelms my heart. The pressure of having to rise up to the challenges life is throwing at me feels so high. While the better part of my life was spend trying to come to terms with things that happened in the past, I am now at that stage where everything is about the future, everything is about where you’re going to get, instead of where you’re from. It’s a strange world of uncertainly where the only certainly is the certainty of change.
What do I do? How do I split my time? How do I try to live up to high expectations and standards set for me in my corporate life? How do I balance out trying to be a loyal and committed employee while also trying to make a decent living out of building a small business of my own? No matter how I try to divide it, how do I fit in all the things I need to do when all I have is 24 hours in a day? How do I respond to the calling in my heart to be closer to God and the church? How do I balance between being a good provider for a family without having to sacrifice quality time with them? How do I live a life of integrity and purity, when work requires you to do things less than honourable? Where do I turn to for the right advise on matters of investment and money? So many things in life call out to me, demanding my response and action... but so many different people sing different tunes to me.
Some tell me to focus on the life that is to come, to not get trapped in the ways of the world. To lead a pure and holy life, to not be sucked into this rat race life puts us all on. To trust that God will provide and not be preoccupied with money, riches and wealth.
Some tell me to focus on my work in the corporate line. They say I have a good future. They offer me promises of money, position and freedom way beyond what normal working people will ever achieve. Yet it comes with a sacrifice, of your time and energy and everything else. The rewards are great, and yet so are the sacrifices – its all or nothing.
And some… promise me the world, if only I have the patience and endurance. They tell me I can have it all… money, time, freedom. They tell me that I don’t need to live a life like everyone else. There is an alternative… They tell me its an achievable goal. And I believe them. But you can’t abandon one ship before the other hasn’t been built. And to built a living that gives you all that requires luck… and a lot of time… time I seem to be running short of every single day.
It feels like each of my limb is tied to a different horse, and all horses are running in opposite directions. I don’t know how I’m supposed to hold it all together.
And times like this, as I sit alone, distancing myself from the world.. all I feel like doing is giving up. To say “To hell with society and all its expectations”… and live a life of mediocrity… because in that mediocrity… I know I can still be happy and contented. But the faces of the people I love never leave my mind. The thought of family and their need drives me on. I feel like for their sake, I cannot give up. For their sake, I cannot be so selfish. For their sake I must succeed.
Underlying it all is a fear… a fear that if I don’t succeed in life, I would have let everybody down.. including myself.
As I write this, a heavy weight overwhelms my heart. The pressure of having to rise up to the challenges life is throwing at me feels so high. While the better part of my life was spend trying to come to terms with things that happened in the past, I am now at that stage where everything is about the future, everything is about where you’re going to get, instead of where you’re from. It’s a strange world of uncertainly where the only certainly is the certainty of change.
What do I do? How do I split my time? How do I try to live up to high expectations and standards set for me in my corporate life? How do I balance out trying to be a loyal and committed employee while also trying to make a decent living out of building a small business of my own? No matter how I try to divide it, how do I fit in all the things I need to do when all I have is 24 hours in a day? How do I respond to the calling in my heart to be closer to God and the church? How do I balance between being a good provider for a family without having to sacrifice quality time with them? How do I live a life of integrity and purity, when work requires you to do things less than honourable? Where do I turn to for the right advise on matters of investment and money? So many things in life call out to me, demanding my response and action... but so many different people sing different tunes to me.
Some tell me to focus on the life that is to come, to not get trapped in the ways of the world. To lead a pure and holy life, to not be sucked into this rat race life puts us all on. To trust that God will provide and not be preoccupied with money, riches and wealth.
Some tell me to focus on my work in the corporate line. They say I have a good future. They offer me promises of money, position and freedom way beyond what normal working people will ever achieve. Yet it comes with a sacrifice, of your time and energy and everything else. The rewards are great, and yet so are the sacrifices – its all or nothing.
And some… promise me the world, if only I have the patience and endurance. They tell me I can have it all… money, time, freedom. They tell me that I don’t need to live a life like everyone else. There is an alternative… They tell me its an achievable goal. And I believe them. But you can’t abandon one ship before the other hasn’t been built. And to built a living that gives you all that requires luck… and a lot of time… time I seem to be running short of every single day.
It feels like each of my limb is tied to a different horse, and all horses are running in opposite directions. I don’t know how I’m supposed to hold it all together.
And times like this, as I sit alone, distancing myself from the world.. all I feel like doing is giving up. To say “To hell with society and all its expectations”… and live a life of mediocrity… because in that mediocrity… I know I can still be happy and contented. But the faces of the people I love never leave my mind. The thought of family and their need drives me on. I feel like for their sake, I cannot give up. For their sake, I cannot be so selfish. For their sake I must succeed.
Underlying it all is a fear… a fear that if I don’t succeed in life, I would have let everybody down.. including myself.
A Prayer for myselff
Dear God,
I’m sorry. Please help me. I cannot do this myself. Please change my heart. Give me strength to turn away from all these sins I secretly desire. Break me from these chains. Free me from my own prison. I see what it has done to me. I see what it will do to me, if I do not stop.
Give me the will to want what is right. Because right now, I don’t want what is right, or what is pure or what is righteous. I don’t. Instead, all I want is what is fun, what is exciting, what feels good. And I can’t stop wanting these things. Every time I resolve to stop, it comes back again and again bigger and stronger. A war breaks out in my soul, and the part of me is righteous – it’s never allowed to win.
Thank you for today. Thank you for planting in me this conscience. I celebrate a small victory today, in trying to defeat this demon inside me. Though my heart resisted all the way and my hand turned heavy, I know deep down inside that I did the right thing, even if it feels lousy for now. Victory isn’t always followed by euphoria.
But I’m afraid. I don’t know how long this victory will last before sin quietly creeps up to me again and I slip back into the same old me all over again.
I know I have said this prayer before. But I must say it again. Help me dear God… let this dark hidden ugly part of me die once and all…
From
Me
I’m sorry. Please help me. I cannot do this myself. Please change my heart. Give me strength to turn away from all these sins I secretly desire. Break me from these chains. Free me from my own prison. I see what it has done to me. I see what it will do to me, if I do not stop.
Give me the will to want what is right. Because right now, I don’t want what is right, or what is pure or what is righteous. I don’t. Instead, all I want is what is fun, what is exciting, what feels good. And I can’t stop wanting these things. Every time I resolve to stop, it comes back again and again bigger and stronger. A war breaks out in my soul, and the part of me is righteous – it’s never allowed to win.
Thank you for today. Thank you for planting in me this conscience. I celebrate a small victory today, in trying to defeat this demon inside me. Though my heart resisted all the way and my hand turned heavy, I know deep down inside that I did the right thing, even if it feels lousy for now. Victory isn’t always followed by euphoria.
But I’m afraid. I don’t know how long this victory will last before sin quietly creeps up to me again and I slip back into the same old me all over again.
I know I have said this prayer before. But I must say it again. Help me dear God… let this dark hidden ugly part of me die once and all…
From
Me
Why You Get to Choose
I spoke once to a guy about God and he had this to say to me…
“If God really wants us to be free, then why all these rules? Why all these commandments? Why all these thou shall not do this, thou shall not do that? If I fail to keep them because I was too weak, isn’t it his own fault? Because it was he who made me this way in the first place.”
“You mean in other words – everything is His fault right?”
“Yeah…”
“True… but you’re missing something. God said don’t do this and don’t do that. But he still left it up to us to decide for ourselves. He still gave us free will…”
“Yeah, well if He wants us to obey Him so much, why doesn’t He just control us and make us completely obedient? Why free will if it’s so much trouble? Why free will if you know we might very well choose something else?”
“Aaah… good point. But imagine this. You have a son. He’s your flesh and blood. Everything about him reminds you of yourself and you love him to bits. Would you want your son to be obedient to you?”
“Well………. Yes.”
“And when he obeys you, would you want him to do it because he fears you and has to, or because he loves you and WANTS to?”
“Of course… I will want him to WANT to.”
“And if he DOESN’T obey you and rebels, will you not still love him and want to see him come back to you one day?
“Yes….”
“Then you have your answer... and the answer in a word... is LOVE”
We are all given the privilege of free will for a reason.
Sadly, we often forget why.
“If God really wants us to be free, then why all these rules? Why all these commandments? Why all these thou shall not do this, thou shall not do that? If I fail to keep them because I was too weak, isn’t it his own fault? Because it was he who made me this way in the first place.”
“You mean in other words – everything is His fault right?”
“Yeah…”
“True… but you’re missing something. God said don’t do this and don’t do that. But he still left it up to us to decide for ourselves. He still gave us free will…”
“Yeah, well if He wants us to obey Him so much, why doesn’t He just control us and make us completely obedient? Why free will if it’s so much trouble? Why free will if you know we might very well choose something else?”
“Aaah… good point. But imagine this. You have a son. He’s your flesh and blood. Everything about him reminds you of yourself and you love him to bits. Would you want your son to be obedient to you?”
“Well………. Yes.”
“And when he obeys you, would you want him to do it because he fears you and has to, or because he loves you and WANTS to?”
“Of course… I will want him to WANT to.”
“And if he DOESN’T obey you and rebels, will you not still love him and want to see him come back to you one day?
“Yes….”
“Then you have your answer... and the answer in a word... is LOVE”
We are all given the privilege of free will for a reason.
Sadly, we often forget why.
The Road to Happiness II
There is a disease in all of us. It’s sometimes called consumerism, it’s sometimes called materialism. But at the heart of it, it’s just something really simple – wanting more.
We always want more; bigger house, bigger car, fancier phone, nicer cloths, better food. Nothing wrong about wanting more, but the question is why? Why do we always want more?
A man fresh out of college would be ecstatic at owning his first car, even if it was just a clunky old frame with four wheels. Everyone knows the feeling of receiving a full pay check for the first time. We feel immensely satisfied. We feel like we’ve just received all that we could ever want and need at the time. We feel like we have enough.
But that feeling of enough never seems to last, does it? Suddenly we just can’t live with that squeaky sound from the car, it acts up too much, and driving a clunky old thing around Sri Hartamas just feel like an embarrassment. And that paycheck - a sum that earlier felt more like more money than you ever need becomes simply not enough.
Have you ever wondered about that? Why your first small paycheque could satisfy you the way you current one cannot? Why your old Nokia 3310 with no Bluetooth, no colour screen, no MMS, no Wifi, no 3G, was enough for you back but not anymore?
When we finally work hard, slog it out, and get that bit more, it’s not quite as satisfying as you thought it would be. There still are other better things to acquire. We remain none the happier. In fact, we become more miserable because now that we’ve just got this, we already want something else.
Our needs grow in proportion to how much we have. We get hungry faster and faster because our appetites get bigger and bigger. We find the need to always be acquiring bigger, better and more expensive things just to continue being happy and satisfied. It’s a law of Diminishing Returns. You spend more and more, to gain less and less levels of satisfaction.
The fundamental reason behind all of this is actually money and how we believe that it makes us happy.
We believe in money. And why not right? We’ve all seen the power of money; it’s ability to elevate us, to give us options, to open up doors, to solve problems, to provide instant gratification, to guarantee security, to afford comfort, to pretty much take care of every conceivable worldly need a person could have and so much more. There are plenty of people who will laugh and call you naïve and idealistic for saying that money can’t buy you happiness. They will cite to you many valid examples and situations where money can indeed buy you some form of happiness, or at least contribute to it; giving your family that holiday she always dreamt of, giving your wife that giant diamond ring, giving your child that toy they’ve been wanting all year, giving your parents that massage chair for the back. It’s hard for anyone to deny the essentialness of money and its benefits. There is nothing wrong with trying to earn a living and nothing wrong with wanting to do it well. The popular phrase ‘money is the root to all evil’ is actually untrue and misquoted.
But be weary. While money affords you many good things, it also affords and cost you more than you realize. People who have an abundance of wealth afford for themselves the ability to be insulated from the world, its sufferings and its needs. They become detached and live in a bubble far from reality. Those born into wealthy families are deprived of the opportunity for self achievement, of learning the importance of money (beyond their personal comfort). As a result, they sometimes become selfish, self centred with strong feelings of self importance, yet sorely lacking in self confidence. But mostly, the lack of any sort of suffering and overflow of comfort in their lives mean they forget, or never get a chance to know how true happiness is really obtained in life.
If more money does indeed mean more happiness, why aren’t the richest people in the world also the happiest in the world? Why did Mr. Adolf Merckle who was worth billions of dollars commit suicide, while Mr Matthieu Ricard , French monk living in Tibet clinically declared the Happiest Man In the World? Mr. Merckle committed suicide after he lost the bulk of his fortune. I’m pretty sure he still had a lot of spare change, but still he despaired in life and chose to end it. Mr Ricard monk owns nothing, yet has somehow found happiness. The reason we’re still not happier after having more money is because money is meant to be a means to an end, not an end in itself. But we’ve distorted (or forgotten) that and have made money and material gains an end goal.
Let me try to propose something to you
The road to happiness in life is actually the same road to meaning and purpose. To find one is to find the other. Regardless of how much (or for most of us, how little) money you have, happiness is actually found in doing meaningful things and discovering purpose in life. A man with great wealth will still be unhappy if he cannot find meaningful things to do with their money beyond serving themselves. That’s why you see wealthy people so eager to develop other people, set up charities and fund philanthropic efforts. They are each trying to do something that has a higher purpose. And for normal people who are unhappy, what you’re really looking for isn’t money, its meaning.
What are the deeper meanings things in life then? What higher purpose should we be aiming for then? What ARE the things we should do in life that will make us happy?
There’s no need to try to tell you what these things are. I suspect that deep down inside, each of us personally know what that is. But I’ll tell you this much –it’s not by adding onto ourselves, and its not by making even more money.
Cheers.
Other similar things I wrote here and here
We always want more; bigger house, bigger car, fancier phone, nicer cloths, better food. Nothing wrong about wanting more, but the question is why? Why do we always want more?
A man fresh out of college would be ecstatic at owning his first car, even if it was just a clunky old frame with four wheels. Everyone knows the feeling of receiving a full pay check for the first time. We feel immensely satisfied. We feel like we’ve just received all that we could ever want and need at the time. We feel like we have enough.
But that feeling of enough never seems to last, does it? Suddenly we just can’t live with that squeaky sound from the car, it acts up too much, and driving a clunky old thing around Sri Hartamas just feel like an embarrassment. And that paycheck - a sum that earlier felt more like more money than you ever need becomes simply not enough.
Have you ever wondered about that? Why your first small paycheque could satisfy you the way you current one cannot? Why your old Nokia 3310 with no Bluetooth, no colour screen, no MMS, no Wifi, no 3G, was enough for you back but not anymore?
When we finally work hard, slog it out, and get that bit more, it’s not quite as satisfying as you thought it would be. There still are other better things to acquire. We remain none the happier. In fact, we become more miserable because now that we’ve just got this, we already want something else.
Our needs grow in proportion to how much we have. We get hungry faster and faster because our appetites get bigger and bigger. We find the need to always be acquiring bigger, better and more expensive things just to continue being happy and satisfied. It’s a law of Diminishing Returns. You spend more and more, to gain less and less levels of satisfaction.
The fundamental reason behind all of this is actually money and how we believe that it makes us happy.
We believe in money. And why not right? We’ve all seen the power of money; it’s ability to elevate us, to give us options, to open up doors, to solve problems, to provide instant gratification, to guarantee security, to afford comfort, to pretty much take care of every conceivable worldly need a person could have and so much more. There are plenty of people who will laugh and call you naïve and idealistic for saying that money can’t buy you happiness. They will cite to you many valid examples and situations where money can indeed buy you some form of happiness, or at least contribute to it; giving your family that holiday she always dreamt of, giving your wife that giant diamond ring, giving your child that toy they’ve been wanting all year, giving your parents that massage chair for the back. It’s hard for anyone to deny the essentialness of money and its benefits. There is nothing wrong with trying to earn a living and nothing wrong with wanting to do it well. The popular phrase ‘money is the root to all evil’ is actually untrue and misquoted.
But be weary. While money affords you many good things, it also affords and cost you more than you realize. People who have an abundance of wealth afford for themselves the ability to be insulated from the world, its sufferings and its needs. They become detached and live in a bubble far from reality. Those born into wealthy families are deprived of the opportunity for self achievement, of learning the importance of money (beyond their personal comfort). As a result, they sometimes become selfish, self centred with strong feelings of self importance, yet sorely lacking in self confidence. But mostly, the lack of any sort of suffering and overflow of comfort in their lives mean they forget, or never get a chance to know how true happiness is really obtained in life.
If more money does indeed mean more happiness, why aren’t the richest people in the world also the happiest in the world? Why did Mr. Adolf Merckle who was worth billions of dollars commit suicide, while Mr Matthieu Ricard , French monk living in Tibet clinically declared the Happiest Man In the World? Mr. Merckle committed suicide after he lost the bulk of his fortune. I’m pretty sure he still had a lot of spare change, but still he despaired in life and chose to end it. Mr Ricard monk owns nothing, yet has somehow found happiness. The reason we’re still not happier after having more money is because money is meant to be a means to an end, not an end in itself. But we’ve distorted (or forgotten) that and have made money and material gains an end goal.
Let me try to propose something to you
The road to happiness in life is actually the same road to meaning and purpose. To find one is to find the other. Regardless of how much (or for most of us, how little) money you have, happiness is actually found in doing meaningful things and discovering purpose in life. A man with great wealth will still be unhappy if he cannot find meaningful things to do with their money beyond serving themselves. That’s why you see wealthy people so eager to develop other people, set up charities and fund philanthropic efforts. They are each trying to do something that has a higher purpose. And for normal people who are unhappy, what you’re really looking for isn’t money, its meaning.
What are the deeper meanings things in life then? What higher purpose should we be aiming for then? What ARE the things we should do in life that will make us happy?
There’s no need to try to tell you what these things are. I suspect that deep down inside, each of us personally know what that is. But I’ll tell you this much –it’s not by adding onto ourselves, and its not by making even more money.
Cheers.
Other similar things I wrote here and here
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Class Divide
Have you ever notice how some people tend to associate themselves with certain things to try to come across as sophisticated to others, even when it truth they’re about as ‘kampung’ as they get?
Take jazz for example. Do you like jazz? Chances are, a lot of people will say yes. But how many people actually listen to jazz regularly? How many people actually understand it, or know a lot of jazz musicians? Truth is, we listen to Britney-Spears-type pop songs most of the time. But some of us will always say we like jazz, because we think jazz is cool…and not liking it would be… well… uncool.
Now take the case of coffee. What’s a good cup of coffee? Mr. Sophisticated will say he likes strong and dark made of freshly roasted and brewed Arabica beans. But actually, most people don’t bother knowing the difference between Arabica or Robusta or Kopi-O. We all actually want weak, milky, sweet instant Nescafe. But saying we like ‘americano’ is so much cooler than saying ‘kopi-o’.
Lastly take accents as the ultimate case. I’m from a country called Malaysia. Most of us here (and in Singapore) speak about 2 ~ 3 languages and our everyday banter is a weird mixture of English, Mandarin, Malay with a dash of Cantonese and Hokkien. Malaysians call it Manglish. Singaporeans call it Singlish. We like fighting about, even when its childish. But once in a while, you get someone who starts speaking English with a funny foreign accent (usually Australian, British or US)… And we go “WTF? You weren’t there THAT long okay. Quit the act la…” But it’s cool to have a foreign accent (if it sounds genuine enough) ain’t it?
I usually get very put off when I see people trying to put on airs, or try to appear sophisticated. But it’s hard to want to blame them entirely. Everyone, regardless of place and country, always try to move upwards. We all want move up a class. The poor want to be middle class, the middle class want to be rich, the rich want to be ultra rich, the ultra rich want to be famous, and the famous… well, they just want to be anonymous again.
It’s not really a crime to want to move up this social hierarchy. The problem I have, is that they try to do it by 2 superficial means – mannerism and money.
Mannerism is all the 3 examples I just talked about. They try to ‘act’ like someone they are not, thinking that’s how people above them act. But its seldom convincing we usually spot a fake pretty quickly.
Other people do it by ‘buying’ their way up. They have cash, either inherited or earned… and they just buy the expensive load of everything they can grab their dirty hands on. Thousand dollar shirt? Yes. Ten thousand dollar bag? Yes. Million dollar car? Yes…. Class?... Not necessarily.
Money buys you stuff, but it can’t buy you class. You can still wear carry a LV bag, Prada cloths, Jimmy Choo shoes and still be a total tramp. You can still wear Armani and a Philippe Patek watch and still be a complete bastard. People with class behave with class, and no amount of money can teach you how to behave. Those who can’t imitate their money, will try to imitate their mannerism. Hence the attempted association with supposedly sophisticated things.
But it doesn’t work.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to belittle anyone. I myself come from a normal worker class family. We’re not sophisticated, and the last time I checked, we’re still not wealthy.
So what ARE classy people like then? To me, they aren’t necessarily the people who have a lot of money, listen to jazz, wear designer clothing or speak with a fancy foreign accent.. though some of them actually do have those things. Classy people also never try to ‘act’ classy, nor do they try to impress other people that they are.
What they do is keep their pride, so that they never stoop down to the level of others who cheat, lie, scheme and deceive. Bu they’re also wise enough to stay humble, so that they never get so high to the level of others who are arrogant, aloft and detached from reality that they cannot relate to the common man.
And when you look at it that way, class isn’t divided into 3; poor, middle class and rich. It’s divided into two; those who have dignity as well as humility, and those who don’t.
So really, there really isn’t any need to try and act all sophisticated and learned, listening to music you don’t like, wearing cloths you can’t afford and talking like someone you don’t know. Always keep your dignity, always let go of your pride – and as far as I’m concerned, you’re a classy person.
Take jazz for example. Do you like jazz? Chances are, a lot of people will say yes. But how many people actually listen to jazz regularly? How many people actually understand it, or know a lot of jazz musicians? Truth is, we listen to Britney-Spears-type pop songs most of the time. But some of us will always say we like jazz, because we think jazz is cool…and not liking it would be… well… uncool.
Now take the case of coffee. What’s a good cup of coffee? Mr. Sophisticated will say he likes strong and dark made of freshly roasted and brewed Arabica beans. But actually, most people don’t bother knowing the difference between Arabica or Robusta or Kopi-O. We all actually want weak, milky, sweet instant Nescafe. But saying we like ‘americano’ is so much cooler than saying ‘kopi-o’.
Lastly take accents as the ultimate case. I’m from a country called Malaysia. Most of us here (and in Singapore) speak about 2 ~ 3 languages and our everyday banter is a weird mixture of English, Mandarin, Malay with a dash of Cantonese and Hokkien. Malaysians call it Manglish. Singaporeans call it Singlish. We like fighting about, even when its childish. But once in a while, you get someone who starts speaking English with a funny foreign accent (usually Australian, British or US)… And we go “WTF? You weren’t there THAT long okay. Quit the act la…” But it’s cool to have a foreign accent (if it sounds genuine enough) ain’t it?
I usually get very put off when I see people trying to put on airs, or try to appear sophisticated. But it’s hard to want to blame them entirely. Everyone, regardless of place and country, always try to move upwards. We all want move up a class. The poor want to be middle class, the middle class want to be rich, the rich want to be ultra rich, the ultra rich want to be famous, and the famous… well, they just want to be anonymous again.
It’s not really a crime to want to move up this social hierarchy. The problem I have, is that they try to do it by 2 superficial means – mannerism and money.
Mannerism is all the 3 examples I just talked about. They try to ‘act’ like someone they are not, thinking that’s how people above them act. But its seldom convincing we usually spot a fake pretty quickly.
Other people do it by ‘buying’ their way up. They have cash, either inherited or earned… and they just buy the expensive load of everything they can grab their dirty hands on. Thousand dollar shirt? Yes. Ten thousand dollar bag? Yes. Million dollar car? Yes…. Class?... Not necessarily.
Money buys you stuff, but it can’t buy you class. You can still wear carry a LV bag, Prada cloths, Jimmy Choo shoes and still be a total tramp. You can still wear Armani and a Philippe Patek watch and still be a complete bastard. People with class behave with class, and no amount of money can teach you how to behave. Those who can’t imitate their money, will try to imitate their mannerism. Hence the attempted association with supposedly sophisticated things.
But it doesn’t work.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to belittle anyone. I myself come from a normal worker class family. We’re not sophisticated, and the last time I checked, we’re still not wealthy.
So what ARE classy people like then? To me, they aren’t necessarily the people who have a lot of money, listen to jazz, wear designer clothing or speak with a fancy foreign accent.. though some of them actually do have those things. Classy people also never try to ‘act’ classy, nor do they try to impress other people that they are.
What they do is keep their pride, so that they never stoop down to the level of others who cheat, lie, scheme and deceive. Bu they’re also wise enough to stay humble, so that they never get so high to the level of others who are arrogant, aloft and detached from reality that they cannot relate to the common man.
And when you look at it that way, class isn’t divided into 3; poor, middle class and rich. It’s divided into two; those who have dignity as well as humility, and those who don’t.
So really, there really isn’t any need to try and act all sophisticated and learned, listening to music you don’t like, wearing cloths you can’t afford and talking like someone you don’t know. Always keep your dignity, always let go of your pride – and as far as I’m concerned, you’re a classy person.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Boy To Man
Do you ever crave intimacy? Do you ever long to feel close to another person? I do. I think we all do. I think that at the heart of it, we all want to feel like we belong somewhere. Not just to a place, but to people. We want intimacy because it makes us feel loved and accepted.
Do you ever find yourself standing in front of a person you feel particularly close to, and the most natural thing that case to you is to reach out and touch them? To make that physical connection. I have always felt that physical touch is the final barrier to overcome when measuring your closeness to someone. We naturally touch the people we love, more than we do those we do not…. or at least that’s how it’s supposed to be.
Speaking of intimacy, I’ll tell you a funny thing; being hugged makes me happy. As child-like as that sounds, its true. It never ceases to bring a smile to me and warm my heart. I remember one time I was out with someone…. The mood was tense and the conversation somewhat icy. Just as we were about to part ways, I was struggling with what to say in order to make things right. I always try to make things right. But before I managed to say anything, that person just took a step up and gave me a hug.
Instantly, I could feel the nervous energy within me dissipate. The jumble of words still forming at my lips, dissolve away… and all I felt was a sense of warmth, acceptance and intimacy flowing through.
Sounds dramatic I know… but that’s how it was.
My affinity has always been towards people and relationships. It disturbs me greatly when relationships are strained. In most things I do and say, I am ever conscious about what it does to the status of my relationship. I guess you could say I’m quite a sensitive person.
So much so that I wonder if it has emasculated me in some sense – that by being who I am, I actually behave more like a woman than a man. It bothers me – the thought that I’m not as ‘manly’ as other men. The closest I ever get is being called a gentleman. I know they mean well…. And they mean it in the best sense of the word.. but ‘gentle’ has feminine connotations.. and if you really twisted the word around, the word gentleman can easily be called ‘sissy-man’.. Grrrr..
I think it’s a subconscious inferiority complex that has quietly been shadowing my existence for a long time. I’ve never liked the sound of my voice. It has never sounded as deep as I want it to be. I’ve always been very shy about my body… having never actually had the kind of hunky body a ‘real man’ should have. Instead, I’m stuck with a squick high pitch voice and a tummy the size of a small watermelon.
Many people I know tell me I’m that sort of silent, confident type. A person who’s self assured but never boastful. A person that’s proud of his principles, but never arrogant.
But I think beyond all the walls of ego and pride and conformity to social expectations, beyond the outward persona of what I project to others around me…. I’m really just an insecure little boy still not convinced that he’s a man yet
Do you ever find yourself standing in front of a person you feel particularly close to, and the most natural thing that case to you is to reach out and touch them? To make that physical connection. I have always felt that physical touch is the final barrier to overcome when measuring your closeness to someone. We naturally touch the people we love, more than we do those we do not…. or at least that’s how it’s supposed to be.
Speaking of intimacy, I’ll tell you a funny thing; being hugged makes me happy. As child-like as that sounds, its true. It never ceases to bring a smile to me and warm my heart. I remember one time I was out with someone…. The mood was tense and the conversation somewhat icy. Just as we were about to part ways, I was struggling with what to say in order to make things right. I always try to make things right. But before I managed to say anything, that person just took a step up and gave me a hug.
Instantly, I could feel the nervous energy within me dissipate. The jumble of words still forming at my lips, dissolve away… and all I felt was a sense of warmth, acceptance and intimacy flowing through.
Sounds dramatic I know… but that’s how it was.
My affinity has always been towards people and relationships. It disturbs me greatly when relationships are strained. In most things I do and say, I am ever conscious about what it does to the status of my relationship. I guess you could say I’m quite a sensitive person.
So much so that I wonder if it has emasculated me in some sense – that by being who I am, I actually behave more like a woman than a man. It bothers me – the thought that I’m not as ‘manly’ as other men. The closest I ever get is being called a gentleman. I know they mean well…. And they mean it in the best sense of the word.. but ‘gentle’ has feminine connotations.. and if you really twisted the word around, the word gentleman can easily be called ‘sissy-man’.. Grrrr..
I think it’s a subconscious inferiority complex that has quietly been shadowing my existence for a long time. I’ve never liked the sound of my voice. It has never sounded as deep as I want it to be. I’ve always been very shy about my body… having never actually had the kind of hunky body a ‘real man’ should have. Instead, I’m stuck with a squick high pitch voice and a tummy the size of a small watermelon.
Many people I know tell me I’m that sort of silent, confident type. A person who’s self assured but never boastful. A person that’s proud of his principles, but never arrogant.
But I think beyond all the walls of ego and pride and conformity to social expectations, beyond the outward persona of what I project to others around me…. I’m really just an insecure little boy still not convinced that he’s a man yet
Movie Wrap Up 2010
On the lighter note of life, I’d just like to highlight some of the the more memorable movies I managed to watch (or remember) from 2010. It's not a review.. just an opinion on each.
#1 Inception
I hated Leo DiCaprio early on because of Titanic. Too many crying women walking out of the cinema just convinced me that this man was pure evil. Then Blood Diamond came along, then Catch Me If You Can, then another and another.... till finally when I finished watching Inception, LeoDiCaprio went right to the top of my 'actors-who-actually-have-talent-in-hollywood' list.
Inception is so mind boggling, technical and out of this world, yet so well woven together, emotional and engaging that most people didn't even mind that they confused half the time. Never mind that trying to explain the movie is so difficult. The word AWESOME pretty much sums it up anyway. Great cinematic, good actors, well written script and storyline (albeit a bit complicated).... and just general points of awesomeness...
IN SHORT : The Most Awesome Movie Of the Decade... possibly. And that's a lot coming from me
IF YOU HAVENT SEEN IT : Go watch it or you'll never forgive yourself.
#2 Narnia: Voyage Of The Dawn Treader
I guess Narnia requires no further introduction. This third instalment has proven to be the best one yet. While outwardly it looks like a straight forward fantasy movie for kids and adolescence, the movie packs a lot more punch than it explicitly reveals. A lot of Church goers would find it hard not to nod their head or whisper to themselves because a lot of Christian values intricately are demonstrated throughout the entire movie. The author of the story is of course none other than the great writer CS Lewis... a giant in modern Christian writing.
The movie is very good, but not just because its particularly 'christian'-ny. It doesn't try to be at all... and everyone (christian or not) will be able to identify with it. Themes like love, trust, hope and faith are known to all men. Battles against greed, envy, corruption and the darkness within us is something we all face in life. It's both a simple and meaningful movie to watch.
IN SHORT : A good dose of 'good-over-evil' that will make you want to be a better man.
IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT : Go watch it... its good stuff for the soul.
#3 Tron
I suspect Piranha was probably the worst movie of 2010, but I stayed cleared of that movie so I remain blissfully ignorant. However, Tron probably isn't too far off either. It takes the cake as the WORST movie I've seen in 2010. To put it midly, the show is retarded. Everything about it is retarded. I paid extra tp watch it in 3D hoping to feast my eyes on some uber cool graphics and cinematics. I did get some, but for a movie that looks so good, it sure did a good job of coming out as a load of shiny shit.
The storyline never takes off, there are so many holes in the movie and I keep on wondering where the exciting part is supposed to come. The Digital World is never properly explained, the character Tron just drops in our of nowhere and the main characters themselve seem even more retarded. The movie may be about some people stuck in digital limbo, but I felt pretty stuck in limbo watch it too. It goes nowhere...and the only place it takes you, is out the door. I'm sorry if it sounds harsh. But there is a minimum depth / quality requirement all movies should meet.. especially one with as big a budget and hype as this one.
IN SHORT : Have I mentioned a load of shiny shit yet? And also retarded
IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT : Good for you!
Cheers everyone.
#1 Inception
I hated Leo DiCaprio early on because of Titanic. Too many crying women walking out of the cinema just convinced me that this man was pure evil. Then Blood Diamond came along, then Catch Me If You Can, then another and another.... till finally when I finished watching Inception, LeoDiCaprio went right to the top of my 'actors-who-actually-have-talent-in-hollywood' list.
Inception is so mind boggling, technical and out of this world, yet so well woven together, emotional and engaging that most people didn't even mind that they confused half the time. Never mind that trying to explain the movie is so difficult. The word AWESOME pretty much sums it up anyway. Great cinematic, good actors, well written script and storyline (albeit a bit complicated).... and just general points of awesomeness...
IN SHORT : The Most Awesome Movie Of the Decade... possibly. And that's a lot coming from me
IF YOU HAVENT SEEN IT : Go watch it or you'll never forgive yourself.
#2 Narnia: Voyage Of The Dawn Treader
I guess Narnia requires no further introduction. This third instalment has proven to be the best one yet. While outwardly it looks like a straight forward fantasy movie for kids and adolescence, the movie packs a lot more punch than it explicitly reveals. A lot of Church goers would find it hard not to nod their head or whisper to themselves because a lot of Christian values intricately are demonstrated throughout the entire movie. The author of the story is of course none other than the great writer CS Lewis... a giant in modern Christian writing.
The movie is very good, but not just because its particularly 'christian'-ny. It doesn't try to be at all... and everyone (christian or not) will be able to identify with it. Themes like love, trust, hope and faith are known to all men. Battles against greed, envy, corruption and the darkness within us is something we all face in life. It's both a simple and meaningful movie to watch.
IN SHORT : A good dose of 'good-over-evil' that will make you want to be a better man.
IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT : Go watch it... its good stuff for the soul.
#3 Tron
I suspect Piranha was probably the worst movie of 2010, but I stayed cleared of that movie so I remain blissfully ignorant. However, Tron probably isn't too far off either. It takes the cake as the WORST movie I've seen in 2010. To put it midly, the show is retarded. Everything about it is retarded. I paid extra tp watch it in 3D hoping to feast my eyes on some uber cool graphics and cinematics. I did get some, but for a movie that looks so good, it sure did a good job of coming out as a load of shiny shit.
The storyline never takes off, there are so many holes in the movie and I keep on wondering where the exciting part is supposed to come. The Digital World is never properly explained, the character Tron just drops in our of nowhere and the main characters themselve seem even more retarded. The movie may be about some people stuck in digital limbo, but I felt pretty stuck in limbo watch it too. It goes nowhere...and the only place it takes you, is out the door. I'm sorry if it sounds harsh. But there is a minimum depth / quality requirement all movies should meet.. especially one with as big a budget and hype as this one.
IN SHORT : Have I mentioned a load of shiny shit yet? And also retarded
IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT : Good for you!
Cheers everyone.
Making A Change
More on New Year resolutions.
Look around you; most likely everyone around you has some sort of New Year’s resolution to make. Everyone…. even the best of the best among us have something in their lives that they want to improve.
It’s like we all have this deep rooted notion that we’re always not as good as we’re meant to be; that we’re all somehow falling short of some golden standard that’s forever out of reach. We’re always screwing up; making the wrong moves, saying the wrong words, doing the wrong things. When we’re really honest with ourselves, we usually fall short of the standard we set for ourselves. Nobody’s perfect.
It’s some sort of in-built flaw in our humanly design…..
It’s either we’re a species of perfectionist of impossible standards, or we’re a bunch of losers with abhorrent achievement rates.
Whichever it is, I do believe that the feelings of inadequacy and imperfection are part and parcel of this world. We live in a broken and flawed world that needs fixing. We all acknowledge that one way or another on many different levels.
Personally, we make New Year resolutions, set personal goals, and embark on quest to improve ourselves. As members of society, we volunteer, donate to charities and stay productive. As a group, we form pressure groups, lobbyist, NGO, charity movements, labour laws law advocates. As a people, we try to do something about our earth and our environment; recycling movements, reducing green house effects, green technology. We actually know that there are a lot of things wrong in this world. And at all these levels of human existence, what we’re really trying to do is fix it.
The Times magazine once invited a bunch of eminent authors to write in an essay on what they thought was wrong with the world today. Here’s the famed English author G.K. Chesterton’s essay, IN FULL…
Dear Sirs,
I am.
Sincerely yours,
G. K. Chesterton
We think we’re trying to fix the world. But at the heart of it all, what we are all really trying to fix is ourselves.
WE are the problem. Everything kind of fixing that we do in life is actually an act of cleaning up the mess that we made in the first place.
I used to think that New Year resolutions were a silly thing. Like I said, a person doesn’t really need to wait till the New Year before making a resolution. But I guess wanting to turn a new leaf, or make a new start in the right direction should never be belittled, but encouraged. If fact, making resolutions only once a year many not be often enough.
Many of us have at one point or another, thought about wanting to change the world, like in Michael Jackson’s song “heal the world, make it a better place, for you and for me and the entire human race”. But very quickly, we realize that is almost an impossible task. No one man can change the world; tainted, corrupt and broken as it is.… certainly not a person as ordinary as you and me. Greater men have tried and failed. Changing the world is reserved for extraordinary people, with extraordinary hearts and mind. People like Nelson Mandela, or Mahatma Ghandi, Martin Luther King
But let me put this to you; we CAN change the world. We CAN make a difference. And it all starts with that simple New Year’s resolution that we made at the stroke of midnight. We can’t save lives, rouse rallies or start revolutions, but we can strive to become a person, and encourage our fellow man to do the same. And when enough of us do this, when enough people focus on trying to fix themselves and not other people, many of the problems of this world will also fix themselves. They fix themselves because the one causing them – us – have been fixed.
So whatever your new year’s resolution is this year… try to keep it. You may not believe that something as trivial as losing weight, doing better at work, or volunteering more often can actually change the world… but I think if it’s something that’s going to make you a better person, and you remember to keep your heart in the right place… it can, and it will.
Helen Keller, the great advocate of women’s suffrage, workers rights and disable people once wrote this
"I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble."
And mind you, Helen Keller herself was blind, deaf and mute. If she can say and believe those words, so can we.
So Happy New Year everyone and good luck with those resolutions.
Look around you; most likely everyone around you has some sort of New Year’s resolution to make. Everyone…. even the best of the best among us have something in their lives that they want to improve.
It’s like we all have this deep rooted notion that we’re always not as good as we’re meant to be; that we’re all somehow falling short of some golden standard that’s forever out of reach. We’re always screwing up; making the wrong moves, saying the wrong words, doing the wrong things. When we’re really honest with ourselves, we usually fall short of the standard we set for ourselves. Nobody’s perfect.
It’s some sort of in-built flaw in our humanly design…..
It’s either we’re a species of perfectionist of impossible standards, or we’re a bunch of losers with abhorrent achievement rates.
Whichever it is, I do believe that the feelings of inadequacy and imperfection are part and parcel of this world. We live in a broken and flawed world that needs fixing. We all acknowledge that one way or another on many different levels.
Personally, we make New Year resolutions, set personal goals, and embark on quest to improve ourselves. As members of society, we volunteer, donate to charities and stay productive. As a group, we form pressure groups, lobbyist, NGO, charity movements, labour laws law advocates. As a people, we try to do something about our earth and our environment; recycling movements, reducing green house effects, green technology. We actually know that there are a lot of things wrong in this world. And at all these levels of human existence, what we’re really trying to do is fix it.
The Times magazine once invited a bunch of eminent authors to write in an essay on what they thought was wrong with the world today. Here’s the famed English author G.K. Chesterton’s essay, IN FULL…
Dear Sirs,
I am.
Sincerely yours,
G. K. Chesterton
We think we’re trying to fix the world. But at the heart of it all, what we are all really trying to fix is ourselves.
WE are the problem. Everything kind of fixing that we do in life is actually an act of cleaning up the mess that we made in the first place.
I used to think that New Year resolutions were a silly thing. Like I said, a person doesn’t really need to wait till the New Year before making a resolution. But I guess wanting to turn a new leaf, or make a new start in the right direction should never be belittled, but encouraged. If fact, making resolutions only once a year many not be often enough.
Many of us have at one point or another, thought about wanting to change the world, like in Michael Jackson’s song “heal the world, make it a better place, for you and for me and the entire human race”. But very quickly, we realize that is almost an impossible task. No one man can change the world; tainted, corrupt and broken as it is.… certainly not a person as ordinary as you and me. Greater men have tried and failed. Changing the world is reserved for extraordinary people, with extraordinary hearts and mind. People like Nelson Mandela, or Mahatma Ghandi, Martin Luther King
But let me put this to you; we CAN change the world. We CAN make a difference. And it all starts with that simple New Year’s resolution that we made at the stroke of midnight. We can’t save lives, rouse rallies or start revolutions, but we can strive to become a person, and encourage our fellow man to do the same. And when enough of us do this, when enough people focus on trying to fix themselves and not other people, many of the problems of this world will also fix themselves. They fix themselves because the one causing them – us – have been fixed.
So whatever your new year’s resolution is this year… try to keep it. You may not believe that something as trivial as losing weight, doing better at work, or volunteering more often can actually change the world… but I think if it’s something that’s going to make you a better person, and you remember to keep your heart in the right place… it can, and it will.
Helen Keller, the great advocate of women’s suffrage, workers rights and disable people once wrote this
"I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble."
And mind you, Helen Keller herself was blind, deaf and mute. If she can say and believe those words, so can we.
So Happy New Year everyone and good luck with those resolutions.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Horny New Year
Happy New Year everyone...
So, everyone's back to life as usual after the last 2 weeks of holidays, festivities and late night drinking sessions. I thought I'd be getting the Monday blues again, but actually...
I've been hornier than usual of late. I mean... it's monday morning on a work day, and all I think of doing right now is grabbing a woman by the ass and doing it doggy style, slamming away, watching as her butt cheeks land softly on my thighs. I have a minor hard on underneath my table, our young clerk is looking good her new work cloths, and I have a mind to lock myself in the toilet to wish Mr. Right Hand a happy new year too...Yes, its still me just in case you think you're reading the wrong blog.
I think it's a combination of 2 things.
First is the regular exercise. I kinda stopped working out towards the end of the year.. due to a lot of personal things going on. I resumed the regiment a couple of weeks ago, to try to get back on track... and I think the increased fitness levels increased my libido by no small measure.
Second is supplements. I started taking supplements again, after many years of avoiding it and it it kinda helped in a very broad sense. Worse (or better) when a friend gave me another specific type of supplement that was supposed to do wonders to your brain, heart and muscles. I actually had only 4 hours of sleep the day before but managed to stay awake for 21 hours straight before crashing in bed at 6am... my body was tired, but my mind could STILL go on. And when I woke up the next morning, I was already feeling kinda horny. It's amazing.
I've been feeling more alert throughout the day, bowel movement seems to have improved, I'm so much more focused, and like I said, general levels of horniness seems to have increased.
I'm still trying to decide if this is a good or bad thing. I'll let you know later. For now, I got to go say hello to Mr. Right Hand.
Hey, I'm just being honest!
So, everyone's back to life as usual after the last 2 weeks of holidays, festivities and late night drinking sessions. I thought I'd be getting the Monday blues again, but actually...
I've been hornier than usual of late. I mean... it's monday morning on a work day, and all I think of doing right now is grabbing a woman by the ass and doing it doggy style, slamming away, watching as her butt cheeks land softly on my thighs. I have a minor hard on underneath my table, our young clerk is looking good her new work cloths, and I have a mind to lock myself in the toilet to wish Mr. Right Hand a happy new year too...Yes, its still me just in case you think you're reading the wrong blog.
I think it's a combination of 2 things.
First is the regular exercise. I kinda stopped working out towards the end of the year.. due to a lot of personal things going on. I resumed the regiment a couple of weeks ago, to try to get back on track... and I think the increased fitness levels increased my libido by no small measure.
Second is supplements. I started taking supplements again, after many years of avoiding it and it it kinda helped in a very broad sense. Worse (or better) when a friend gave me another specific type of supplement that was supposed to do wonders to your brain, heart and muscles. I actually had only 4 hours of sleep the day before but managed to stay awake for 21 hours straight before crashing in bed at 6am... my body was tired, but my mind could STILL go on. And when I woke up the next morning, I was already feeling kinda horny. It's amazing.
I've been feeling more alert throughout the day, bowel movement seems to have improved, I'm so much more focused, and like I said, general levels of horniness seems to have increased.
I'm still trying to decide if this is a good or bad thing. I'll let you know later. For now, I got to go say hello to Mr. Right Hand.
Hey, I'm just being honest!
Resolutions
The new year seem to always be the time people like to stop, look back and recollect all the things that have happened over the last 365 days. It’s also a time where a lot of us like to make resolutions, to try and spend the next 365 days in a better way than the previous.
Actually, the silly thing about new year resolutions are that you don’t really need the new year before you can make a resolution. A resolution can be made at anytime and anywhere. All a person really needs to do, is make a silent promise to themselves that from that day forth, they will start doing things differently… to make a change in their life from NOW onwards.
The trouble with new years resolutions is that it is often made by saying that from TOMORROW onwards, I will…(fill in the blank). We always know that there are things about our life we want to correct.. but in truth, we’re actually too comfortable with how we are now to do anything about it, hence our resolution for tomorrow. And when tomorrow we fail to carry out that resolution, we say tomorrow, then tomorrow, then eventually, next year.
Until something happens to us, until something big and life changing happens, we seldom ever to set our plans in motion… we just sit there and wait… saying we’re waiting for the ‘right time’ when in fact, we’re just waiting for disaster to strike before being forced into a decision. By which time, it’s too little too late.
And that’s the thing too isn’t it? Our decision making in life is often left to the very last minute when we are either compelled, forced or pressured into finally making a commitment into something.
Many people only start taking their health seriously after a health scare. Many people only start thinking about God when staring death in the face. Many people only start worrying about money when they realize they don’ t have enough to do all they want and need to do.
And we wonder why we’re so trapped by circumstances in life. We wonder why we’re not empowered. We wonder why we’re always on the receiving end of what life has to dish out for us instead of us taking it by the bull’s horns. We often know what we want out of life. We know what we want to achieve. But we either never give enough though to how we’re going to do it, or we have but never get moving on it. Complacency is the plague of our lives.
And when I say ‘OUR’, I mean me too.
Personally, there are some resolutions that I have made for myself too. Among them – loose 10kgs, be more active at church, and finally – stop coming to work an hour late all the time. All this made just before Christmas…
And then Christmas and New Year came and I ate so much my stomach almost burst, I woke up late to go to church, and as I type this I’m already later for work.
Oh well……….
There’s always Chinese New Year right?
Happy New Year to you my friend….
Last year was great… but may this year be even better for you, and me, and all of humanity.
Actually, the silly thing about new year resolutions are that you don’t really need the new year before you can make a resolution. A resolution can be made at anytime and anywhere. All a person really needs to do, is make a silent promise to themselves that from that day forth, they will start doing things differently… to make a change in their life from NOW onwards.
The trouble with new years resolutions is that it is often made by saying that from TOMORROW onwards, I will…(fill in the blank). We always know that there are things about our life we want to correct.. but in truth, we’re actually too comfortable with how we are now to do anything about it, hence our resolution for tomorrow. And when tomorrow we fail to carry out that resolution, we say tomorrow, then tomorrow, then eventually, next year.
Until something happens to us, until something big and life changing happens, we seldom ever to set our plans in motion… we just sit there and wait… saying we’re waiting for the ‘right time’ when in fact, we’re just waiting for disaster to strike before being forced into a decision. By which time, it’s too little too late.
And that’s the thing too isn’t it? Our decision making in life is often left to the very last minute when we are either compelled, forced or pressured into finally making a commitment into something.
Many people only start taking their health seriously after a health scare. Many people only start thinking about God when staring death in the face. Many people only start worrying about money when they realize they don’ t have enough to do all they want and need to do.
And we wonder why we’re so trapped by circumstances in life. We wonder why we’re not empowered. We wonder why we’re always on the receiving end of what life has to dish out for us instead of us taking it by the bull’s horns. We often know what we want out of life. We know what we want to achieve. But we either never give enough though to how we’re going to do it, or we have but never get moving on it. Complacency is the plague of our lives.
And when I say ‘OUR’, I mean me too.
Personally, there are some resolutions that I have made for myself too. Among them – loose 10kgs, be more active at church, and finally – stop coming to work an hour late all the time. All this made just before Christmas…
And then Christmas and New Year came and I ate so much my stomach almost burst, I woke up late to go to church, and as I type this I’m already later for work.
Oh well……….
There’s always Chinese New Year right?
Happy New Year to you my friend….
Last year was great… but may this year be even better for you, and me, and all of humanity.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)