"There was a bit of incident on Sunday, when she was staying over"
"What happened? She tried to run away again?"
"No. Nothing of the sort. She was actually very well behaved the whole weekend."
"Then what is it?"
"She was just crying, because she didn't want to go back to the home. She says we're taking too long to give her an answer. I told her to give us until the end of the year, then we'll take her out. I think we need to sit down and talk."
(my heart sank, I could never stand the thought or the sight of my mother crying..... And why did you have to commit a date to her like that? Now she's hold us to your word.. and we don't even know if taking her out is the right thing to do!)
*silence*
"I don't know what to do.... Is it right to just cave into the pressure and just give her what she wants?"
"Its's not about caving in, we're just trying to make her happy"
"I don't know. What about Pa? Will she be comfortable with HIM around? Next thing you know she'll be complaining about having him around and take off again. She always does that. There's always something that upsets her."
"This time she seems different. It was different back then. She seems more settled now."
(Was this true? Is it really different this time?)
*silence*
"I don't know....... Who's going to take care of her? You? Can you handle it alone? Where would she sleep? What about your housemate?"
"I will have to. She's been saying she can just bunk in the living room. My housemate is not around most of the time anyway. There's small 4th room, but needs a lot of work."
"You mean the store room near the kitchen?"
"Yeah...."
(Could he? Could he really handle it? Is it right? Is it right to just give her a make shift room? How do we know she won't run away...... again?)
*silence*
"Anyway, its not something we can settle on the phone like that. We need to sit down and talk."
"Yeah....OK. I'll talk to you another time.. Bye.."
"Bye"
Why is it so hard? I just want to do the right thing.
I just want to do what is best for her, for everyone....
But I don't know......
I don't know what is the right thing to do,
or what is the best thing to do.....
I'm not even sure these 2 are the same thing.
What if what's right isn't the best vice versa?
Will history repeat itself?
Do people deserve second chances?
Does she deserve this 7th chance? (I lost count, but its about there)
What if she took off again?
What if she dissappeared and never came back alive?
What if my brother can't take it?
What if he hit her?
If only I knew what to do..........
2 comments:
It is a really tough decision to make. And you're right to be asking those questions, is the right thing always the best thing? And vice versa.
If I were in your position, I would not know what to do either. It would definitely break my heart to leave my parents in a home, but then again, wud it be better to bring them home and not be able to give them the utmost proper care 24/7?
And then there is that possibility of her running away also, and your fear of her not returning home safely the next time it happens is a huge risk to take as a son.
Maybe you could start looking for a full-time nurse you could hire that has the experience to take care of your mom at home?
I can only imagine how difficult this must be for both you and your brother. I pray that everything will somehow work out for the better. *hugs*
EH,
I know it's a very difficult decision. I won't know what to do myself if I were in your position but looking at the history of your mom running away and having relapse so often, my best advice is to keep her at the nursing home and let the professional to take care of her.
Afterall, if you took her home, you will be away most of the time during the day and there is no guarantee she would greet you when you come home from work. The fear and thoughts of not seeing her when you come home from work is enough driving you crazy.
What if you are require to travel for work? Who would take the responsibility to care for her? I would never want to count on friends or housemates.
Sit her down, explain to her why it would be better for her to stay at the nursing home - there are friends and nurses around to talk to during the day, medication is on-time, food and shelter are provided. Just make sure she knows that you and your brother would often visit her as much as you both can.
And remember to bring her a small gift everytime you go visit her.
But then again, I know it's a very hard decision to make. It's aint easy at all but it's for the benefit of you and your mom.
Here is my BIG HUG for you too.
Post a Comment