of Puzzles & Love

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"Good morning beautiful. 8 long years filled with good times and bad times. Joy, laughter, tears & heartache; we felt them all. But the one that stands out the most: LOVE. Having your love gives me strength, loving you gives me courage. Happy Anniversary my dear. You are the love of my life. :-)"

"Darling, thank you so much for being so loving and patient throughout these 8 years. You've been there at my worst and shared my best. There is nothing more I could ask in return. You have given me so much. I love you with all my heart and I wish both of us life long happiness & companionship. Happy Anniversary. 

Today, we're celebrate our 8th year anniversary.

8th year commemorating what exactly? Of me being an hour late for our date. Of her being two hours late for our date. Of me trembling in fear as I blurted out words I could not have known were life changing..."Would you be my girlfriend."

Quite a number of people have asked me when or at what point did I know she was 'the one'. They wonder if there was some sort of dramatic defining moment set my heart for good. Others just assumed that since we've been so long together, it was just a matter of time...

I hate to burst their bubble, but there was no defining moment. And I'll tell you very honestly, even after many years of dating, it was never a guarantee that we would end up together, not for me at least.

Nothing happened that made me decide she was the one. In fact, there was a period of time that I asked myself if she was indeed the one. This went on for weeks, which turned into months and eventually years. We were comfortable with each other, we cared for one another, but I did not have an answer to my own question. Was she 'the one'? What was the one anyway? As if we we're all individual pieces of a jigsaw puzzle searching for others that were made to match us, worrying that we might not find them. I would often look at other women around and me and wonder if I'm supposed to be with them, that I just don't know it yet. I looked at them and asked myself that forbidden question "If I were not with someone right now, could I love this other person?" I never told anyone, but once or even twice, the answer didn't come back as a No.

And people just assume that after so and so many years together, you're bound to be together. Sadly, this isn't true. Last week, I sat for for 7 hours with a dear friend nursing a broken heart. They had dated for 4 years before he dumped her suddenly and abruptly, over MSN. In the never ending maze of my own heart, I had wondered if the number of years we clocked together made either of us carry on just so the past years do not go to waste. It's like making the right choices, but for all the wrong reasons. Right action, wrong intent. What a dilemma.

I did not wake up one morning realizing that I could not live without her. I'd be so bold as to say if I did not have in my life, I would have lived life all the same. But I did meet her, and she did come in my life. What did happen was that in between one of those many lazy Sunday mornings watching cartoons & bickering about taking out the trash, she made me feel loved even in the most nonchalant way. The best of her made me proud, and the worst of her gave me headaches... but I loved her anyway. A smile on the face comes from a happy heart... and she made me smile a lot so I knew I was happy. I still hadn't figured out whether she was the piece of the puzzle meant for me, or if I could be happier with someone else, but I allowed my mind to wonder into the future, and I found myself thinking that if I had a son, I wanted him to have a mom like her. And if I had a daughter, I'd want her to be just like her mom. I could picture no one else.

And vaguely, I guess that's when I knew, she was the one. That's what I'm celebrating today. And someone across the sea, I knew she is too.