I seldom if ever talk about my work.
First of all, the field I'm in is highly technical. It's hard to answer in simple layman terms what I do exactly, or the product we make. Most of the time, unless it's a fellow engineer, my explanations invariably draw blank looks from people... and I just go "Oh nevermind... I'm just a regular engineer k..." I know people aren't really interest in what engineers do anyway. Also, a big part of me refuses to let what I do for a living define the person that I am. A lot of people derive their sense of worth from their job. The only way they feel important or significant, is if their job is important and significant. I don't really buy into that thinking. I know where my sense of self comes from, and my job ain't it.
But believe it or not, I actually enjoy the work I'm doing now. There are no two days that are exactly alike. It's challenging, it's dynamic, and in many ways, it's quite exciting. Over the course of my work, I have sat through million dollar contract negotiations, witnessed profanities flung across the room in official meetings, people get fired on the spot, sat under the sweltering hot sun tightening bolts & nuts & watching people getting seriously injured while working in the field.
But today wasn't one of those days...
Today... everything was fine. I sat at the back of the truck as it made its way out of the plant at the end of the shift. There were just a few of us, all dressed up in our safety helmets, goggles, ear plugs, coveralls, safety boots, gloves...... We talked about the events of the day, shared a few laughs and the inevitable few dirty jokes. It was the weekend. Most of us had home on our mind and were only too eager to get out of our suits. Most of them had wife and kids. I think I was the youngest one there.
Our laughter died down, and everyone just looked away, each busy with their own thoughts. I wasn't looking forward to the regular jam at the causeway later... but I needed to brave it if I wanted to be home. I looked at my watch.."Ah.. 7pm.. time to look up". I leaned back and looked outward towards the sky.
Clear skies with some clouds here and there. Colours changing hue from deep orange from where the sun was setting to dark blue where the moon was rising.
PERFECT.
The life of an engineer isn't the least bit glamorous. But in between calling an end to a hard days work, sharing a good laugh & looking up at that beautiful sky in silence, I felt happy. Evening skies then to have that effect on me.
My thoughts went out to my family, old friends, new friends, friends facing difficult times, friends I hadn't seen in months, people I lost touch with, people I still keep in touch with, people I gave up trying to connect with and most interestingly, people who have made sudden contact with me again after so many years. Being away from it all somehow gave me clearer insight into many of my relationships with people. I could see which ones were superficial and which ones were genuine, which were just camaraderie & which were true concerns.
I smiled to myself.
Just like catching a glimpse of this sunset today, many of the most amazing things that have happened in my life happened unexpectedly. I didn't plan them, they just fall right into my lap unasked for. The most valued relationships I've came from the most unexpected places & happened right under my nose. I landed myself an interesting job before I even knew what I was getting myself into. The love of my life literally turned herself around and introduced herself to me before I could even plucked up the courage to look her in the eye. I guess you could say I'm a real lucky little bastard. I think I've had more than my fair share of serendipity so far.
Anyway, at that moment, I was cracking my head trying to think of this quote I read for some reason...but could not remember the words exactly... but here it is.
Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want. ~Margaret Young
It's good to be home, even just for a while. Have a good weekend.
Cheers
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