A Mile with Sorrow

I walked a mile with Pleasure,
She chattered all the way;
But left me none the wiser,
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow
And ne'er a word said she;
But, oh, the things I learned from her
When Sorrow walked with me!

Robert Browning Hamilton

Dear Friend,

Some people born with a silver spoon in their mouth. The rest are born naked, wet, cold and hungry - then it gets worse. Some people lead simple uncomplicated lives. Some lead such difficult and hard lives – death seems almost like a welcomed relief.

Many ask why.

On a cosmic level, we look up to the sky in frustration and ask why God there is suffering in this world. Why would a perfect God create an imperfect world? Why allow suffering? They say the world suffers as a whole becomes it is decaying. You and I suffer not strictly because we ‘did something wrong’ but because we live in a flawed and decaying world. It’s decaying because mankind sinned. Mankind sinned because he has free will to choose right from the wrong. He had free will because God granted it to him. But why grant free will to man fully knowing that we will choose poorly? Why not just make everyone and everything love God by default? Because God wanted us to love him not because we were programmed to, but because we choose to. Search your heart. Don’t you want people to love you at their own free will?

But I know… that’s like on this whole other cosmic level of things. It feels so…‘out there’ and little to do with our personal lives.

When we suffer, we don’t think about original sin, or God’s eternal timeless plan. We don’t want to know why mankind is suffering. I want to know why I’M suffering, and what the hell I’m supposed be doing with it and HOW.”

People come up with all sorts of theories.

The guilt trip; you did a big boo boo in life, and now it’s payback time.

The burning champion; God’s making you a ‘contoh’ (example) to other people so that they can see how ‘well’ you are coping because of your religion / belief, or how you should stay the hell away from doing bad things or else they’ll end up like you.

The school lesson; God’s trying to teach you something in life so, sit up, stop whining and pay attention because class is in session!

Each one makes some sort of sense. So which one is it? What’s the reason I’m suffering? Honestly, I don’t really know. All of these reasons are actually flawed for one reason or another. God isn’t necessarily punishing you, trying to make an example out of you or teach you something. As hard as it sounds, there isn’t always a specific reason you can attribute to it. But you know what? It doesn’t matter. We get so caught up with why it’s there that completely miss what it does to us. Suffering is no fun. It often brings out the worst in people; you see the selfish, greedy, uncaring part of people. But it also brings out the best in us.

It’s under the most difficult circumstances that the most extraordinary things happen often to ordinary people. Their names aren’t in history books; their words aren’t quoted and used on posters. They live among you and me – the unsung heroes of life struggling to make ends meet, nursing a dying family member, surviving a chronic illness, living in a broken home, grieving the death of a loved one, and dealing with the breakup of a long relationship or even as simple as making the same mistake over and over again. No one knows the things they go through, let alone imagine they can rise above it all.. but rise up they do…… and face the world, full of fear in their eyes, but also full of courage in their heart.

I know it is clichéd, but suffering does make you stronger. You find yourself braving weathers you never thought you’d see, surviving episodes you thought were really the end of you. You emerge hurt, battered and scarred, but stronger. Please believe that. If you think suffering is a hindrance to your happiness, realize that happiness is gained not by going around suffering, but through it.

But there’s bad news dear friend.

Even with the best of us, there comes a point in your life, where we cannot do it on our own. You find yourself at the end of your wits; the courage long gone, the strength depleted. And all you can do is cry out for help. Family will always be there, and friends are there to support you, but there's only so much they can do. They cannot be in your conscience as you battle the demons resting inside. They cannot take away the feeling of your aching heart. You look left, right, front and back and find nothing….. and then you remember to look up. Then you remember to look to God.

People that put too much faith & confidence in their own abilities & the that of man ultimately set themselves up for failure & disappointment. As great as we are, we still are only human. We all have a limits - and it is perfectly possible (and likely) that you find yourself at your wits end one day. You see, suffering brings you to your knees and pray out to God. Because something intrinsic in all of us knows that ultimately, it’s God that sees us through life. The one that feeds the sparrow. The one that stands by you and me. And when you believe that there is a greater force that shapes & molds all things, you are filled with hope.

But hope isn't exclusively the belief that things will will be OK and all the problems would have gone. It may not, and you might find yourself with yet another mountain to climb after just having scaled one before. But rather, hope is about believing that come what may, you will pull through. You will feel the anger, frustration and tears rolling down your cheek... but you will pull through.. and you emerge stronger than before. You will learn perseverance, courage & resilience. But also, humility, compassion & the meaning of forgiveness. And at the end of it all, you look back in hindsight and see how everything including the suffering had meaning, and made sense - though it seemed the total opposite at the time.

If there is any good that can come from pain, suffering and hardship, it is the first the discovery of yourself and ultimately the discovery of God.

So stay strong, keep hope. It's OK if you falter - we all do. But do it will the full knowledge that you will and can get up again, and you never have to do it alone.

Love
Me