Thanksgiving...

So thanksgiving just came and went over in the great USA.

Now, to tell you the truth, I have no idea what Thanksgiving IS, or why they celebrate it at all. Searching the most reliable source ever on the internet Wikipedia, I found this. After reading a few more source, I realized even the people who celebrate thanksgiving don't seem to know where it all started. It's harvest festival, it's a pseudo religious celebration, it's to celebrate American pilgrims surviving a brutal winter, but it's also some celebration of peace between red Indians and the pioneers or something. Don't ask me why people eat Turkey and potatoes. It's the same obscure reason people bake fruit cakes on Christmas... no one really knows.. or want to know. (although I have attempted to find an answer to that too)

From what I know, thanksgiving is a time when family gather round each other, make merry, and have a feast together and start counting their lucky stars for all the things that they have been blessed with in life. Oh, and the President gets to choose one turkey to 'pardon' from the slaughter house and live the rest of it's life as 'First Turkey' or something. Sounds like a wonderful thing to be doing really. Over here in Malaysia, we don't get to pardon a 'First Turkey' or chicken, or cow, or any other assorted poultry. But we do have a time when family travel hundreds of miles just to be sitting next to each other for dinner. And that's usually Christmas, Chinese New Year, Hari Raya... and pretty much all other major holidays. But the idea that at least once a year, families gather around a table, bond, reflect and give thanks (I assume to God) for all that they have... is a BEAUTIFUL thing to do. If only we did it more than just once a year.

If I may digress a bit, don't you think technology today, for all it's wonders and splendor, is still unable to replicate the experience of physically being in the presence of another person? Why do Malaysians,  Americans, and all other peoples of the earth bother to travel hundreds, brave cruel storms, rain, blizzards and typhoons just to sit next to the one they love? Don't you think these people have heard of Skype, or Facebook, twitter, or even email? Why don't they just video call and broadcast dinner over a big screen? But it's not quite the same isn't it? For all the things technology has done for us, there is NOTHING that can replace the human side of bonding. We need each others physically presence. To look into their eyes, to pat them on the shoulder, to hold their hand, to hug them, to kiss them, to hear their voice, to see their expressions etc....It's the only way things like love, trust and understanding can really be cultivated strongly. I have learn in my life that if you sincerely want to know someone, want to care for them, and want to establish a connection with them... meeting is the only and best way. My friend, if you want to care about someone, meet up with them, as often as it is possible.

Anyways, back to the topic of thanksgiving. I'm not celebrating Thanksgiving in anyway. But I do feel compelled to list down things that I am grateful for. Things I want to thank God for in my life. Here are some of the things:

1. Family.

Yes, I'm grateful for my family, as dysfunctional as it may be today. I'm grateful that my mother is alive and well, that she's much happier now that she has even been for the past 15 years. I'm grateful that my father is out of his (various) marriage crisis.. and that I have him close to me, to just be a dad. I'm grateful to have an older brother, who although is a bit too idealistic and dreamy for my taste sometimes, remains only and most constant source of brotherly love for me. 

2. Loving Fiancee

Don't worry, I'm not going to go on and on about how great a girl I'm with. I'll just say that many a days, I have to pinch myself just to check if I'm dreaming. Truth be told, I never really thought I could love a person the way I love her now. The thought of her makes me smile. The sight of her makes me melt. And her love and support to me is a big reason why I am the person I am today. She says she's a lucky girl... and it seems people seem to repeat that to her too. But people don't know. They don't know, it's really ME that's lucky. I'm a mess without her.. a fact has become just sooOo evident to me in recent weeks / days.

3. Friends.

If I were to start counting to you the friends that truly mean something to me, it won't reach more than 10 fingers. I don't know why I don't have more friends. OK, maybe I do. I'm picky with friends. I don't like just hanging out with just anybody... because frankly, I can't care for so many people. So I pick and choose. And for the ones that I choose to try making friends with, I am so grateful that they reciprocate that friendship and care. The thing about these sort of friends are... you don't always get to be around them all the time.. but you just know that the care about you.. and you hope to God that they know you do too.... I know maybe I'm a bit too young to be telling these sort of 'fatherly' advise kinda thing.. but I have learned that as you grow older, making new friends gets harder and harder. And finding genuine ones that are for keeps.. is EVEN harder. Keep those you find precious to you in your heart. And if you can, go the extra mile to let them know you care. You can't assume people 'just know'.

4. The person that I am

For pretty much my entire life, I've never been able to be entirely comfortable with the person that I am. Not ever now post puberty. Half the time, I'm terrified of being too ordinary and mediocre. And the other half is spent actually believing I AM ordinary and mediocre. I've always had complaints about myself. Too serious, too boring, too fat, too passive, too plain, and the biggest one of all... too nice. I always wished I was better looking, or more charming, or more rugged and macho. I think it's one of my insecurities. In response to that, someone said this to me in a letter.

"You have a charm too, you know? You just don’t realise that when girls say you are nice, they are actually charmed by you. There is no equivalent word to describe how they feel, so they’ll say you are nice. I’m a girl and I know what they mean when they say so. Nice people are nice to be with and please don’t think girls don’t fall for nice guys. It’s a misconception."

That did make me feel somewhat better of myself (though I'd sooner die before acknowledging any of the above) and it also made me think a bit more about what I was really complaining about here. Being the person that I am today has opened doors for me. It helped me gain trust, love and respect in work and in my personal life. Being the person that I am has won me a few caring friends here and there. Being the person that I am also won me the heart of the woman who wrote the above letter to me. The one that I finally asked her hand for in marriage. So at least for today, and for as long as this feeling will last, I'm going to stop complaining about everything that I'm not and be thankful for being the person I am instead of beating myslf up over everything that I am not.


5. Others

This list can be either very short.. or very long. There are plenty of other things I give thanks for... some big...some petty. So, to keep this post short here are a few short and concise 'honourable mentions' so to speak. I'm grateful and give thanks for:

- my job (and pretty much everything having an income has managed to provide me)
- my boss (yes, really. For giving me a job of course)
- my completed education
- my complete freedom to blog as I like
- my health
- my sense of humour
- my good luck (in getting away with naughty stuff. haha)
- my uncanny ability to always find parking (it's true!)
- random people who've helped me in my life
- random people who've been following my blog
- not being materialistic
- not having to go through National Service
- not being obese
- not born with any weird deformities.
- not being born a girl (this one' just a joke ok)
- not being forced to buy a pink shirt
- not really caring too much about what I wear, or how I look.
- having random strangers think I'm actually interesting enough to get to know
- having a nice home cooked meal waiting at home in the evenings.
- having the complete freedom to go wherever, whenever.
- having parents that listen to me instead of telling me what to do (this is actually a real bonus)

I know it's only too easy to fall into that trap of wanting the tings we do not have. But it's not too hard to count your blessings either. Here's some quotes that really spoke to me that spurred me to stop whining and start giving thanks.

“I would rather be able to appreciate things I cannot have than to have things I am not able to appreciate.” Elbert Hubbard

“Gratitude consists of being more aware of what you have, than what you don’t.”

–Unknown

Cheers.. and happy thanksgiving everyone.