This thought has been lingering at the back of my mind for quite some time now.
I need to find myself a bunch of friends.
F.R.I.E.N.D.S.... as in the kind you used to see in the sitcom of the same title...where everyone just hangs out at the coffee shop chatting. Ideally a group of 4~6 friends.... give or take a few each time With AT LEAST 2 females in it, else it just be a bunch of baboons all over again.
I need friends with a good sense of humour. Good as in, humour that involves more than one of the friends being the butt of the jokes la. The people I usually find that do have a good sense of humour are often the same people who also see and appreciate the ironies of life (which are a plenty, so there's plenty to laugh at actually). They can tell silly slapstick and knock knock jokes but ALSO appreciate the finer, less obvious comedies that sometimes unfold around us which often takes a certain amount of observation to pick up. If that's asking for too much, oh well, I'll take you if you had ANY sense of humour at all I guess. Beggars can't exactly be choosers.
BUT.......... I'm not looking for some sort of high nosed sophisticated bunch of yuppies. I want people who are not necessarily simple, but at least down to earth and at least with a conscience on their heads. No show offs, no bull shit talkers, no self absorbed, self centred idiots, no over religious goody two shoes, no insanely crazy party animal, no spoilt brats, no Mr/Ms Know it all.
Other than a appreciative sense of humour, you must also be able to debate with me (sometimes in the same conversation) on issues that typically go along these lines:
1. On why falling in love can feel so damn good and painful at the same time… or what the heck it’s supposed to mean anyway.
2. Life and how anyone's every supposed to figure it out before reaching the end of it.
3. Men and why the toilet seat should be up and not down, and we shouldn’t need to shave just to please you.
4. Women and how hell they throw crazy tantrums and emo fits every month yet still manage to get us to love them to bits.
5. Chivalry and whether it’s still allowed (or even appreciated) in this day and age by women. In other words, can you treat a woman real special without them starting to think you’re hitting on them? And if you ARE hitting on them, should you stop being chivalrous to other women so that this one ‘feels special’?
6. Is watching a movie 3 times with totally different groups of people considered stupid, and if you’ve ever eaten Banana leaf rice all by yourself and if so why.
7. Other completely miscellaneous and random things that usually come to me when I’m driving / showering / digging my nose.
Actually, my demands not as hard as they may seem. I just want friends that I can call out for a chat, or movie, or company or whatever at all….. I don’t want to need a reason to call you beyond asking “Hey, what you up to? Free to meet up for coffee?”…… that’s it. That’s ALL I really want. And in return, you can call me and ask me what the hell I’m doing. And I’ll tell you if I’m taking a crap in the toilet, writing out my latest piece of inspiration, or just watching Who’s Line Is it Anyway on Youtube…. I’ll come out in the middle of the night to listen to you bitch about your boss or your colleague, or your parents, or your pet poodle….. and I’ll bitch to you about…….wait…. sorry… I don’t bitch much (I think)
It is so hard to find a couple of friends that can do the above?
There is actually one other requirement that I left out. It’s not only one of the most critical for me, but also enough for me to want to be your friend for life, even if you fail all over the above spectacularly. My last group of friends are mainly mandarin speaking…. And though I’ve known them for years, it has never quite satisfying for me due to the language barrier. There’s only so much of Mandarin I know… it’s hardly at that level where I’m able to speak my mind. Being with my friends these days reminds me of talking to my grandmother. You love them to bits… but you don’t always know what the hell their saying or laughing at….. and you can’t always say what you want to say.
So dear (potential) friend…. there’s only one thing you need right now for us to be lifelong friends. You just need to know how to SPEAK SOME FREAKING ENGLISH!
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