I just deactivated my Facebook account. I did it on a whim.
Actually I was looking for the 'delete account' button. But discovered that Facebook offered no such buttons. Once you're in, you can never get out! I never realized that! I guess they assumed anyone wanting to delete their Facebook account is either crazy or out of their mind.
It makes you stop to and wonder about how life was like before social networking websites ever existed. And I guess for most users today below 20 years of age, they'd have no idea how that's supposed to feel like. For one, the most active place people communicated with each other was forums, chats (ICQ), and of course, good old fashion email. (Isn't it funny that emails are already considered old fashion when it's been around 20 years or so, while letter have been there for centuries!). This is probably also the same generation that assumes that by default, every 15 year old kid has a mobile phone of their own.
Perhaps I AM crazy, or out of my mind. I have a feeling most people would find the act of deleting your Facebook account to be unthinkable. But I did think about it... and I decided, I'm going to delete it.......or at least deactivate it la.
How earth shattering is it REALLY going to be anyway? Of the measly 187 people I had on my list, at least half were people I haven't spoken to or met in a year (many of which I've been contemplating to delete). Many others I've either met only once or twice. Some are people I know from work, others are relatives. How many of them were what I'd consider real life non-virtual-world friends? I think less than 20. And these 20 or so people.... they don't need Facebook to keep in touch with me. They actually call, text me, email or meet up with me whenever possible. You think the world's going to miss my online presence? Think again.
There was a time when this blog was all I had as far as online activities went. There were only 2 reasons I went to the cyber cafe every few days or so.. to check my email (which often had no mail anyway) and to just write my heart out. I didn't care if anyone read it (I knew there weren't, and if there were, they were strangers), I didn't bother about being eloquent, and I didn't bother about layout, or fonts sizes, or blog templates. But it was enough. It was more for myself than for anyone else. One or two anonymous comments would come every once in a while.. and I would feel like somewhere out there, someone listened, and shared my heart. And it was enough.
Things like Facebook came along, and turned all of us into self absorbed narcissists and compulsive virtual stalkers. There was a point in time where I'd check my Facebook countless times a day, just seeing what people were up to, and if anyone left a comment on my page. I'd obsess over which picture to put on my profile and only be too eager to post my latest pictures online... assuming as if people just couldn't wait to see what I had to show the them. I'd get excited every time someone posted a comment on my wall, or my picture.. or whatever at all. It became almost as if we have turned to Facebook to satisfy our sense of existence and belonging amongst others.
I think subconsciously, we all assumed that people would be interested in what we have to share... or at least we hope they do. Have you ever stopped to wonder if what you are about to post, whether it's a new album, or a new note, or a new wall post, is something your friend are actually interested to know?
I love this blog of mine so much more than I do my Facebook account for a few very simple reasons. For one, this blog is immensely more personal to me. I write a lot of my personal and private thoughts here, more than I ever do with even people close to me. It's my escape. It's my release. Secondly, opposite to how we approach Facebook-ing (is that a real word yet?) I assume by default that nothing I write here is of interest to anyone, except myself of course. It's not MEANT to be interesting to anyone. It's just meant to be personal..... TO ME. And throughout the history of my blogging days, I'd safely say that every single person who has visited my page (which is really really very measly trust me) came by stumbling upon it. I have made zero attempts at diverting traffic here. Someone once asked me why I don't just put this blog as private if I didn't want risk people I know reading it. Well, I guess, as personal as it is to me, a part of me still wanted to share whatever I had to say to the world, and I still wanted it to be available for anyone who wanted to read it, whether by fate or by interest..... or both.
To put it in an analogy (yes, I know I speak in analogies all the time.... but so did Jesus right? Hahaha).....
When I log into Facebook, I feel like I'm in this big giant hall, and everyone's in there. We're all wearing big giant hats with out 'Status' on it.. and everyone gets to read whatever you want to say. Our left hand is holding up a big giant collage of all our favourite pictures. Our right hand is a smorgasbord of notes, video clips, games, applications etc etc... and we're all just running around randomly and endlessly, having a quick laugh here, dropping a short comment here, giving our thumbs up there.. before moving on to the next bozo. It's fun for a while... but after a while, it gets tiring for me, not to mention lame.... and meaningless. Because there really isn't really a point to it beyond the little tid bit details you gain from your friends here and there. Oh, she's got a bf now. Oh, he just went to Cameron. Oh, he was late for work today. Oh, Avatar was awesome, but chipmunks sucked..... I know all this little bits of everyone... then what? Then what my friend?
On the other hand, with my blog, I feel like I'm in my own little flower garden. It's empty, but every single plant or ornament is a post I placed there with a lot of heart.. and a lot of passion, and I feel a very strong sense of ownership over it. There is a nice lazy chair in the middle where I sit, to either soak up the sun on a good day, or curse at the sky, on a bad day. It's my little garden, but it's open for anyone who wishes to venture in and smell the roses, or ask about the funny ornaments that surround it.... and I'd gladly and proudly explain each and every one of them. Every visitor came on their own accord (however few), every comment came from their own desire to connect with the gardener, me.
I think I'll stop here, less you start to think I'm falling in love with my own blog.. or my own self. :-P
I think I'm going to keep my Facebook account deactivated for now. That's not to say I'm through with it for good. I never said that. It's just that as far back as I can recall, it has given me no real lasting value, either in strengthening real friendships and relationships, or in connecting to people I really want to connect with. All it gives me is 300 meaningless bite sized live updates everyday about a hundred over people, whom I hardly talk to or care about. It HAS caused me to spend countless mouse clicks deleting email notifications. It HAS made me less productive at work, and it HAS made me feel like I'm connected to everyone yet still sorely lacking any depth in any of those connections.... which is WORSE than not being connected to anyone at all.
So at least for now, as far as social networks websites go.. thanks, but no thanks. Perhaps I'll reactivate my account again.... if I start to feel too much life a prehistoric hermit. In the mean time, at least this prehistoric hermit will continue the (already) prehistoric activity of blogging... which I will have you know....were first started back in Egypt.. thousands of years ago. What else did you think those ancient hieroglyphics were really about?
Cheers everyone.
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