Shopping for the Wrong things at the Wrong Place

I walked around The Gardens at Midvalley yesterday.. on the first day of the new year.

"I'm window shopping..:" I replied to someone on text. I hardly ever window shop, unless I was buying windows. I was looking for something alright... but it wasn't anything I could buy off the stores, unless you know of a store that has Solitude on sale, and maybe a pharmacy that has a cure for Loneliness and Heartache. Where's the Sunday promoters giving out free samples of Love and Sacrifice and Contentment, Joy or Happiness in the supermarket?

The closest I've found in stores that do give you a boost in spirits is Kopi-O-Extra-Kau with lots and lots of caffeine in it.

Truth was... I've just been needing a lot of time alone. Maintaining a smile and cheerful face is quite an exhausting task when your heart just isn't there. I did exactly as had planned yesterday. I had dinner with my friends. I brought food, we toasted to the new year, we spoke and laugh about old times in college, we looked at old vacation and university days pictures together on the big screen and we planned when we would all meet up next. All find and dandy. Except that every other time I was alone, I could feel the muscles in my face weaken and the act of smiling started to become an act of will power rather than a natural reaction. I needed to get out of there before my lack of spirit started to become too obvious to everyone. I left and headed for the park... there was a hill, and a pond right next to each other.. Both of which I was equally fond of. I sat on the grass, and ushered in the new year in silent contemplation.

I woke up today, and after an impromptu lunch with someone, I continued my walk through the mall.. just visiting shops, looking at people and busying myself with my own thoughts..... You'd think that when someone is just dedicating his mind to purely thinking, he / she will be able to suddenly come up with some sort of amazing insight into life and all it's ups and downs. But not so with me. I had no brilliant flash of inspiration. I was just peering into the stores and wondering how anyone ever affords walking into a store that sells a luggage bag for five thousand dollars per bag. Everything from blouses, jeans, watches and shoes all cost easily a thousand bucks more.. even if they didn't look a thousand bucks more.

WHY do people buy these things anyway? Does having more money, and having more expensive stuff really make us happier off? Cuz really... I earn more money now than I ever did as a kid.. so how come I'm more miserable now than I was before?  Sometimes, I do fall into that trap of chasing money. I imagine myself having so much money, I would travel anywhere and everywhere my hearts desire.. with the persons that mean most to me. I would never have to work another day. I would just focus my life on seeing all the beauty and wonder of this earth, getting to know the people I love most, and just living and experience life. Instead of slogging around in office, making someone else richer...

For the thousandth time, I thought to myself  "Money is a good servant...... but a poor master." Money helps cure a lot of the miseries in life. You never worry about medical bills. You don't think twice about bringing your special someone to some place nice to eat. You can buy the things you want for your loved ones without hesitation. But, you don't need money to be happy.. Or rather, having money doesn't make you happy. And in my life... the best moments I've ever had, the happiest times I had, came at little or no cost at all. Simple joys like having someones company, or sharing a laugh, or spending time together, a tender and intimate moment......And they make your heart leap like nothing else in the world. These things don't cost a thing. This is what people mean.. when they say the best things in life are free.

But these so called 'free' things... you can't buy them with money.. Not for a million bucks. You can't buy someones affection. You can't buy someone's time. You can't buy their heart. And if money can't buy you any of these things, that what's the point of money beyond keeping you alive? They might not cost you a cent to receive these simple pleasures of life... but if you really know how hard and how rarely these moments every come, you'll know how precious and invaluable they really are. And why generations of people have been so reluctant to to a price tag on things life Love and Happiness.

The posters and advertisements around the mall show people being happy and contented, smiling while wearing expensive cloths and expensive cameras. They tell you you need a five thousand dollar camera if you truly want to capture and preserve those fleeting moments in your life. They conveniently forget to tell you that the best piece of equipment you have to capture a moment is your mind, using all your senses, and the best place to store those beautiful memories... is in your heart, which they will also never tell you, has infinite capacity.

Sigh....

After a few hours of mindless walking.. I headed home. I think I was looking for the wrong things at the wrong places. Plus there was plenty of coffee at home.