I met my boss’s former boss some time ago. I call him ‘Si Kong’ a.k.a grandmaster. In his days, this retired old man was the President of the company he worked for, reporting directly to the board of directors. He was a powerful man. He knew the family that owns the business personally. He sat on the highest floor, in the biggest office, on expensive leather chairs & mahogany tables; he played golf with clients, hosted fancy dinners for corporate big wigs, sign corporate contracts and earned more money in a month than many of us do in a year. If you were the type that was looking to climb the corporate ladder, this was who you want to be. This was the pinnacle of the climb.
I looked at this man and thought to myself “I want to be him. I know I have what it takes to be him.”
But how? How to I become him? How do people like him get to where they got to? Do people who get there even ask that question or they just know instinctively? I’ve met people who work hard and smart all their lives but only get so far? How do you become the freaking president of the company? How do you come to that kind of level of success in life?
I was still halfway through figuring that out until something happened recently that forced me to rethink this desire to be like this man. It reminded to be careful for what you wish for, and not to be chasing the wrong sort of things in life. What happened?
I met his son.
His name was Alex. His father sent him to us, all the way from France to work in our company. From all appearances, Alex looked just fine. But I knew he was pretty messed up. He never finished his education, bummed around, never stuck to a job for long, drank like a fish, smoked like a chimney, started taking drugs and got in trouble with the law. Out of desperation to help turn his son’s life around, his father call on all the favours he could to, and here he was, thousands of miles away from home ready to start a new job and hopefully a new life.
“It was a desperate cry for attention. His father was a workaholic, just like me. He spent all his time doing his job, and didn’t spend enough time with his children. That’s why it happened.” my boss related to me solemnly.
It seems for all the wealth the father brought home, no amount of money could repair the damage done by his absence.
“So that’s how you climb to the top. You sacrifice everything else, even your family…..” I thought to myself.
I had no misgivings about Alex. From talking to him, I could feel his eagerness to turn a new leaf. In fact, I was quite eager to see him make something out of this. Everyone deserves a second chance. But society is so harsh sometimes; the further your fall from grace, the less people are willing to give you a second chance even though it is at those moments that you need it the most. I’m glad he got his.
My thoughts were not so much on Alex. He had messed up. But that was the past. He about my age and still had plenty time to make something out of his life. My thoughts were on his father. By society’s standards, he was a success story. He had made it to the top. But at what cost? He had spent months and years away from home resulting in a divorce, and now it seems he had unwittingly sacrificed his role as a father too. I’d stop short of putting all the blame on him for messing up his son’s life, but it certainly was a very big factor.
It gave me a jolt. Do I still really want to be like him? I want to be successful in eyes of society too, but not at such a cost. Can I have a successful professional life AND a fulfilling personal life? Is that asking for too much? Or are the two mutually exclusive? People say strike a balance. But how do you prevent that from becoming a half baked effort on both ends? How do you know you won’t just screw up both?
In thinking about what we all want out of life, this is what I came to; we all want our lives to make a difference in this world. That difference can be to mankind, to your country, to your society, or even to your company. But if you ask me, the one that’s most tangible is the one you make in the lives of your family, your loved ones and your friends. Maybe that doesn’t sound like the biggest difference you could possibly make, but it certain is the most meaningful one; a difference that didn’t change the world in a shallow way, but the lives of a few individuals in a very real and deep way. Can you think of a greater difference than that?
So back to what the question; do I still want to be like him? If it has to be like that........then I guess it has to be a NO. Why? Because one day, dear old Si Kong will have eventually kicked the bucket. His name might stand high in the annals of the corporate world, but at his funeral, the one mourning the deepest will not be suppliers, clients or business associates; It will be his family, and of course, Alex – the one he was not there for.
Knowing this, where do you think Si Kong would have chosen to make a difference given a second chance?
No comments:
Post a Comment