I'm serious. I'm so starting to hate money. It's starting to disgust me. I hate the way it affects us. Hate the way it changes us. Hate the way it controls us. Hate that there's no escape.
I used to be able to be happy despite not having any money.
When I was a kid, my mother would take me to eat lunch at KFC every beginning of the month. It was a special treat that was strictly between my mother and I in the afternoons when my brother was off in school and my father at work. We'd share a 2 piece plate and I would get to have the jelly ice cream. It was humble little meal, but it was always the most special lunch of the month for me.
We could never afford buying a lot of toys. Most of our toys consist of plastic soldiers, a few race cars and soft toys, and lots and lots of imagination. But once a year..... on my birthday, my father would allow me to pick whatever I wanted for a toy. And every single year, I would want the same thing - My favourite toy in the world, LEGO. Once a year, I would get a lego set. Even then, I was only allowed to pick the small boxes, never the big complete sets. But I was happy none the less. Better that than nothing at all.
Then I grew up and started earning my own money. And along with this new found ability to earn, came the ability to spend. In fact, them more we earned, the better we seem to get at spending. The better we become at spending, the more money we seem to need. We used to be able to live with using a cheap RM20 bag. That then became a RM200 bag. And for some people who have the means, a RM2000 LV bag is almost a must. And if you had both your LV bag and cheap RM20 bag, would you choose your cheap old bag over it? And once you've tasted it, you will not choose water over wine. Proton cars, Bata shoes and Casio watches are 'cheap' stuff no one really takes pride in owning. Eating KFC used to be a real treat. Now it's just something tasty and convenient. Today, dining in a fine restaurant is a treat, but tomorrow, it may just be a normal meal (if I ever earn that much money la). 'Cari makan' we call it. But the more we live, the more we earn, the more we acquire the taste for the finer (and then ultra fine) things in life. Where does it stop?
As children, many of us dreamed of becoming either a teacher, fireman, painter, composer, musician, artist or something of that sort. You know, dreams that had absolutely nothing to do with money, but everything to do with passion. But somewhere along the line, many of us forsake those dreams, coaxed by our elders or by ourselves. We choose lines of work that are 'safe' or 'proven' and mostly, work that promises some kind of financial stability. I'm not saying it like it's such a bad thing. Dreams should always be tempered with a touch of reality. The importance of sound judgment can never be underestimated. But sometimes I think we've taken it a bit too far. The job you have, and how successful you are is more often than not tied to how much money you earn. And so we look for jobs that we think will bring in good money. Aiming to become anything short of a surgeon, businessman, entrepreneur, pilot or corporate figure is frowned upon. And if your ambition is to become a painter, artist, musician, composer or any of those sort, you're either naive or just plain mental. Some even take on 2 jobs at one time, just to 'earn enough'. The pressure to be successful - to not only bring in the dough, but bring it in abundance - is especially true for men. Say what you want about modern living, but it is still a man's primary role to be the provider for his family. Women have the option to quit their jobs. Men don't.
We all realize the kind of grip money has on us. And we have gotten trapped in the mentality that the only way out of this chase for money is by winning. Winning by acquiring more money that we will spend, whether it's through sheer hard work, or brilliant investments. If you quit, if you refuse to chase the money, society calls you 'average' or worse 'unsuccessful'. The pressure to acquire wealth as much as you can, as soon as you can is very much present especially in country & society like ours. I know because I see it and feel it every damn day I step into office.
But some people have smacked me in the head and told me I shouldn't hate money. They poignantly remind me that money in the right hands could be used positively. To hate money as a whole would also mean hating the genuine difference it can make to peoples live. A point I cannot disregard. I guess when I say I hate money, it's really is more out of frustration than anything else. Some days, the pressure of needing to fork out more and more cash just to survive and get things done can be quite overbearing. I'm certainly not going to call it quits and live in the jungle, and I most certainly am NOT about to give all my money to you (just in case you were going to ask).
It's not that I don't want money. I'm just disillusioned by it that's all. I hate the fact that I can't escape from wanting and needing it too. And this vicious cycle of needing more and more seems never ending. Life seemed much simpler and happiness seemed much more attainable when once upon a time, we knew how to gain more with less.
It's either that or I really am just allergic to money.
Geddit?
P/S: Before you decide to give away all your earthly possessions and start life anew in the jungle, please take everything I say with a pinch of salt alright. I don't pretend to be clear headed (or even sane) at the time of writing. I might think of something else tomorrow and write all about how money is the most important thing in the world. Who knows....
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